Rings

Commitment. I don't know if it's a universal thing, but it sees that it's always that is taken very seriously, and needs to be considered long and hard before making a decision about a commitment, and the longer the commitment the longer the thinking involved.

Now, there's a stereotype which says that guys have a problem with commitment. I don't know if this is founded on anything but I think I may have a problem with commitment. Not really anything in specific, but I just really don't like to say yes or no to anything I can't follow through on, and more so with anything I don't have a guarantee that I can't follow through on.

I don't like to commit to anything that could end up being, or will be, long term. And I don't like to commit to anything that will have changing conditions. I guess that's part of why I'm having such a rough time deciding on a career, and in the more immediate future, this job as an Air Traffic Controller.

I haven't heard back from them yet, other than that they want my Matric Certificate which I don't have and am waiting to get, but the idea of working in a company where I need to sign a 5 year contract literally keeps me up at night. And the situation is made worse because I may need to move around the country and work in different airports wherever they may need me.

I don't know why but I literally have anxiety all the time about this situation as well as other situations like what's going to happen to my gran? She can't move into the place she needed to go to, so now she has to move in with my family, but that is not going to be good. Trust me.

At the same time I have a whole lot of other stuff going on with friends and this isn't making the situation any better. I am just very scared that I'm going to make a commitment that I can't get out of, and end up hating my life 6 months after taking the job, or whatever the case may be.

I don't know if it's just me being silly and not wanting to commit at all, or if it's me being being pessimistic, or if I'm actually being wise in considering everything. I know I can't run away from my problems but at the moment facing them is fairly difficult.

I don't want to end up in a situation where commitment in general is a problem, so if that is the root problem then maybe dealing with that now is the way out, but I also don't want to waste time not making a decision.

Either way I need to face everything and hope it doesn't kill me. I need to eventually make a decision and stick by it, and then not make everyone else's life a living hell. I guess all I can do is make the best decisions possible in every situation that comes my way, and then hope that it all works out...