The Lie We Call The Truth

There's a wonderful song by a band named Dream Theater entitled 'Repentance', which is about making amends by confession of mistakes people have made. In the middle of the song they have about 15 sound bites of different band members and friends [Joe Satriani, Steve Wilson, Steve Vai etc] confessing things they regret. At the end of the song there is a voice that says "You're only as sick as your secrets, but the truth shall set you free", to which John Petrucci replies "The truth is the truth, all you can do is live with it."

When I heard that for the first time, I thought 'wow, that's the real truth'. You see, as people we are conditioned to believe that if you tell the truth everything is hunky-dory, and after we've told the truth there should be no consequences for anything we may or may not have done. This is of course bullshit.

And in my opinion, this problem is compounded by Christianity where it is taught that Jesus is the truth, and the truth will solve all your problems. Now, I'm sure everyone reading this can see that there is a massive difference between identifying Jesus as the truth and not telling a lie, as well as the fact that Jesus isn't the answer to all of your problems. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that Y'shua [Jesus] is only the answer to one problem in your life, namely Hell. Other than that, I'm sure He's eager to help, but that's about it.

Now I'm sure that many Christians all over the place are outraged by this comment, saying that Jesus is the answer to all problems, but that's not true in my opinion. Example, if you need to cross a river, saying Jesus won't get you across the river. Building a raft may help, you may even find a bridge to get across, but neither of those things are likely to be Jesus. Sure, you can pray and ask for help, and I'm sure He'll give you the help you need, but Jesus sure isn't the bridge, or the raft; He's the help.

Anyway, back onto the truth. The truth isn't the answer to your problems, in most cases. Example, my father is going through a sex change. His name was Peter, but as a woman her name is Cate. Now, Peter started doing 'woman' things when he was much younger but never dealt with it until a few years ago. Peter told his wife and two children he wanted to be a woman almost two years ago now, and so started the process of becoming Cate. That was the truth being revealed.

Cate has more problems than Peter ever did though; she's got a child [me] who had a physiological predisposition toward depression before which has been extremely aggravated by the situation and as a result had suffered from very deep depression, a wife who has had her ministry taken away from her and has lost friends by making decisions they don't agree with, and another child who is clearly suffering the consequences of losing a father and high stress levels in the home. And that's not to mention what the rest of the family thinks and says about the situation, losing friends, a changing work situation and the financial strain that has been put on the family as a result of laser surgery, psychological treatment and all the other costs involved.

The truth didn't set anyone free in this situation.

So, is the truth a waste of time? It doesn't seem to be doing anyone any good and it appears to causes more harm that anything else? Well, no. The truth is a very good thing because it reveals underlying problems, and those problems can only be solved if they are encountered head on. I also think that those problems are the ones that, when fixed, have lasting benefits.

A perfect example: Peter could never truly connect with my brother and I because he wasn't comfortable with who he was. As a result I've never felt close to my father, I've never felt like he was a strong person who I could tell anything. But since I've been trying to get to know Cate better, I've learned that she is a much stronger person who is more comfortable and can actually take responsibility and face problems without backing out because she's tired or just doesn't know what to do.

Even during my deepest depression Peter was nowhere to be found, but now Cate is far more supportive and actually tries to understand what is going on. If Cate had never emerged as a result of the truth, I would have never had the experience of someone I can go to and get 'fatherly' advice from. Sure it is still fucking difficult to approach her, knowing she used to be my father, and I don't see Cate as my father, but it's an ongoing process and I'm sure that in the end it'll be worth it.

So the truth in the 'real world' has lasting benefits and I would say it's not the answer to the problems, but it's the beginning of the journey to finding the solution. From a Biblical perspective we'd all be screwed without Jesus, but I don't think we really need to go there...

I have a theory that the larger the secret, and the longer it takes for the truth to be accepted or understood, the larger the reward.

The truth and honesty go hand in hand, and are two characteristics I'm am trying to implement more and more in my life. It's a difficult journey because at the moment I feel that I've told the truth and am being burnt for it but I have to accept that the pain now is a risk and hopefully it'll pay off in a strong way later.

At the end of the day, the most difficult part of telling the truth is having faith in the people around you. Faith that they will live up to what they have said they will do, faith that they will have integrity and know how to deal with it, and faith that they will be who you need them to be in that moment. And that faith can easily be destroyed by being burned, but getting back up and having faith again is the important part. Remember, the people around you are exactly the same as you, they make mistakes and have to live with them in the same way you or I do. We just have to trust that they will make the right decision.