Breaking Point

We all have limits. Not only within ourselves, but also with regards to other people. We all have to draw a line in the sand. But I always wonder, do we sometimes draw that line just a little too late? Or a little to early?

A while ago someone told me a statistic which I don't believe is true but I do believe that the principle behind the statistic is true. He said "If 70% of businesses went 10% further they would be a success". Now, that really doesn't sound like a researched statistic, but it does reflect a sentiment, that if we all pushed a little bit further things would probably work out for the better.

At the same time I think that same sentiment can be turned around and used in a negative way, and it would be just as true. If we had drawn the line just a little bit earlier we would not have had to go through many of life's hardships. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing is up to you to decide, but it's an interesting concept nonetheless.

So, is the reason that we don't succeed but rather fail because we just don't see that we need to push on, or that we should draw the line [in the case of failure], or is there something else at play here?

I believe that if you can see that pushing a little further is going to cause failure then you should be able to see that pushing a little further will bring success, but I also believe that people are more afraid of success than failure. I know I am.

I can usually see when things are getting better or when things are going south, but I would rather face failure than success because success usually brings change, and that's something I really don't want to introduce in my life at the moment.

A perfect example is with this potential job to become an Air Traffic Controller. The idea of getting in is in most cases classified as success, but it really scares me, and I'm not sure if I should push that far because I don't know if I actually want that success and change in my life. It would be far easier to go back to everyone and say that I didn't get the job than it will be for me to go to my friends and say that I got the job and now I have to potentially move city. I don't know if I would survive that. Really I don't.

At this stage I have to define what I see as success, and then look at which decision would bring about the most amount of success in my life. Pushing through that last 10% is the hardest, not because it's the most amount of work, but because at that stage you can see the success, and indeed the changes coming, and perhaps that's the biggest deterrent.

Character Traits

I have a theory which states "What irritates you about others is likely to be a downfall in your own character." This is of course my own theory and is only based on my experience, so it's not proven in any way, shape or form. I do believe it to be true. Here's an example: I hate it when people are under pressure, and then disregard people in pursuit of their desired outcome, but that is exactly what I do when there is a high pressure situation. I automatically become excessively aggressive in order to get the 'job' done.

Now some people see this as a necessity, but I don't. I actually see it as a problem, and something I need to work on.

But this trait can work for good as well as for bad, and as long as you are out there to improve yourself, it's a very good thing in every situation.

Here's another example in my life. I love a show called "The Big Bang Theory". Basically it's a sitcom about five people, with two characters being the main characters. In the story, there are two geniuses who live together in a flat, with one of them being socially retarded and exceptionally brilliant, while the other is more socially advanced but is still intellectually superior and would easily fall into the category of 'nerd'.

Now, the more socially advanced 'nerd' has a crush on the girl who lives across the hallway, in the opposite flat. She of course isn't particularly clever, but is extremely good looking and has a heart of gold. The story revolves around the interaction between the geniuses and their 'nerd' friends, and this hall neighbour.

Now, in case you don't know I have a very high IQ. I don't feel bad about, I don't make it a thing, it is what it is. At the same time, I can clearly see in myself similarities with Leonard and Sheldon (the main characters), and I know that the average person sees me as a weirdo because of it.

In some cases I don't think of it as a problem, but in others I do. I suppose that as long as you are open to accurately and open mindedly assessing the situation there are no problems. The trick is being able to admit you're wrong and having a good attitude about it.

So next time you see something in someone else that really grinds your tits, think about yourself before you start telling people to jump in a lake.

New Adventures Message

So I have been rather bad with my blogging of late, but I promise I'm on the 'mend' and will be blogging every day from now on, and next week will be the first New Adventures in a while, so I hope you have all been missing it and will read next week.

My apologies once again.

Exploring Interests

Everyone has different ways of looking at things, at doing things and at exploring things. Some people like to pour milk into their tea before taking the bag out, others insist on removing the bag beforehand, some people don't take the bag out at all. Are any of these people wrong? I should think not. They just have a different way of doing things.

This principle extends throughout every aspect of life, down to the finest detail. Even within larger 'cultures' there are massive differences, and these differences are all part of what makes the world such a rich and intricate place to live.

One of the topics I have recently been thinking about is how people profess their faith. I am a thinking person, and when I love something, irrespective of whether it be quantum mechanics or football, I read about it. I read, then think, then read some more, then discuss and then read again. I often don't come to a concrete conclusion because I just like to read and hear about both sides of the argument, and that's actually what I end up enjoying more that I enjoy the football itself.

Now for me to express my faith, all I need to do is read the Bible every day, pray and read books about the Bible, theology and other philosophical books to do with religion, morals, free will or anything pertaining to a higher being for that matter. I don't agree with it all, and I don't condone a lot of it either, but if I never read it then I'll never be able to connect with the average person who asks questions about 'Natural Selection' or any other topic for that matter.

But my way of expressing my faith is not the same as everyone else's. I have friends who see it as pointless to sit around and discuss things like free will, because they see it as inconsequential in the bigger picture of Salvation. The believe that if you accept Salvation, then you don't really need to do any more research but rather just serve people. For them they only want to be involved at a church, serving in the community and other people. That is how they express their faith.

Now neither of those is wrong, but I'd also say that neither of those is negligible within your life. You need to have both, even if you enjoy one much more, and therefore have much more of it in your life.

For example, I may sit around pondering the importance of historical context, but if I never help an old lady across the road, she's never going to see me as anything more than some 'leeching youngster'. Perception is as important as works in many cases, not all but many.

I'm on a journey at the moment, and the truth is that the further down the rabbit hole I go the more I realise that having a balance isn't compromise but rather wisdom. The balance doesn't have to be perfect, but without it you lose much of your influence, and that's what you need to make a difference.

Inner City Pressure

No matter how you value things, and irrespective of how that value system differs from society's value system, there are certain thing you just have to do in life. Not because people expect it or because it's the right thing to do but rather because it's actually what you need to do to live. Mediocrity isn't as bad as it sounds.

For example, in my life the things I value are people, God / YHVH, wisdom and knowledge, standard of living, music and having fun. Society however paints a different picture. The general consensus is that we should be striving to push ourselves forward, gaining as much wealth as possible so as to ensure security, and we should trust only ourselves because we are the only people we can rely on day in and day out. The easiest way to push yourself forward while achieving these things is by having a career we can focus on and build into. But the truth is that I don't value a career.

I do however value a standard of living. I want to eat reasonably well, drink good coffee and bourbon, wear neat clothes, live in a well equipped and good looking home, enjoy entertainment over weekends with friends and have enough money to buy things I want. Clearly if I work in an average retail shop for the rest of my life that won't happen. Having said that, I don't really value a career enough to sacrifice for it, especially if it isn't necessary.

So where is all of this coming from? Well, at the moment I'm faced with quite a problem. I have potentially got two jobs lined up. The first will be working in a music shop selling drumming equipment, which I think would be great for now but doesn't really have much of a sustainable future other than me moving into some sort of management position which probably won't pay much anyway. The second is more of a career, potentially receiving training to become an Air Traffic Controller [ATC].

The pros for the job as an ATC are fairly clear. Higher pay, lifetime career option and international accreditation. The cons however are that I would have to sign a 5 year contract with the company which says that they can place me in any position at any airport around the country without warning or any compensation. So they can decide that I need to move to Upington, or Joburg, or George without consulting me or any required forewarning. The other thing is that I don't want to get into a job I end up hating and having to stay in it for 5 years. That would suck. The other thing is that the job requires shift work, all year round.

The pros of working at the music shop are less responsibility, easy and relaxed environment, I can stay in the city, set and easier hours and I would be around musical instruments all the time. It also keeps me in the music industry which is where I have been working for the last year or so, and I'd get to meet international bands when the shop supplies their gear for tour etc. The cons are that I would have lower pay, less possibility of career development, it may be seen as a job that is not respected and would often have to work on Saturdays.

I have no idea which one is likely to open up for me, or which one I'm going to pursue, but all I can do right now is wait and see. It's killing me, but it's all I can do.

Waiting For God

Sometimes I sit around just waiting for the world to end, or at least to die. I feel so worn out by life, I just think "the only break I'm ever going to get is when I die." But at the same time I've done some research into the 'end' [based on the fact that I believe in the Bible, and Revelation] and I know that I've got at least another 1000 years ahead of me before making it to the New Jerusalem, and that's not going to be what the average Christian / person thinks or hopes it's going to be.

The truth is that hanging onto some sort of hope of abysmal relief isn't the answer to my problem, but finding the answer is proving to be rather difficult.

Initially I thought that if we are all eternal beings then every moment is infinitely meaningless, unless an entirely engulfing emotion is being experienced in as many moments as possible. This however brings about a mentality which causes one to chase high after high, simply because it is impossible to experience strong emotions all the time. And who wants to experience anguish? Or despair? Or hatred? So you spend your time chasing after pleasant emotions, which is a never ending battle and entirely meaningless and inconsequential.

I happen to know that the requirement for wealth is equally meaningless, if only because most of the world will be destroyed before we make it to the New Jerusalem [often referred to as 'heaven'].

So that brings me to the conclusion that the only things worth chasing after are things that I can take with me after I've died and things that last longer than 75 years [average lifespan of a human].

This brought me to the conclusion that the only thing worth running after is wisdom, and as a result thereof, knowledge. These things are however just as much a let down as the others, because the more wisdom I find, the more sorrow I find; and the more knowledge I find the bigger my burden becomes. Apparently I'm not the first person to feel this way either, "For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." [Ecc 1:18]

It is at this stage that many people would jump up and say "well it is because life isn't about you it's about God" or something equally unfounded. As far as I'm aware the Bible never tells us that our lives are intended for worshipping any god, but rather that the Father is worth of our praise and all glory.

I'm a big fan of looking at initial intentions, and in the beginning the Father told man, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." [Gen 1:28]

Now there's nothing here about glorifying the Father, but is this perhaps the answer I was looking for all along? Is it this simple? If I'm honest I don't think it is, simply because a lot has changed since then.

In the end I think it comes down to a healthy mixture of everything. Very seldom is it wise to be extreme about anything, and finding a happy medium is not so much compromise as it is a good balance irrespective of the situation or consequence thereof.

I don't know a lot for sure, but I do know that at the moment I'm feeling like most of life is meaningless and that the only things that are worth investing in are people, wisdom and the Father. It may be somewhat of a bleak outlook, but that's where I stand at the moment and it only gets more complicated the further in you go. At the same time I'm already in this rabbit hole, and I'm not planning on coming out alive...

I'd like to stress at this point that I may be wrong about anything and am happy to discuss any of my philosophical or theological believes or views with anyone who is willing to share theirs and hear me out. I don't claim to know everything, or even be close to being right all the time, but I believe that life is about living and learning, so that's what I'm here to do.

That Type of Person

Have you ever seen a film named Crash? If you haven't, it's really a must see. Basically it highlights how people react to situations based on stereotypes, how they are created and how they are broken. Believe it or not, you have stereotypes in your mind, and they affect everything you see, read and hear.

I have a problem with stereotypes, because I tend to 'prepare' myself for what people might do based on a preconceived idea I have of them. While I don't think of myself as someone who judges people, I have experience with types of people, and I 'brace' myself for what they are going to say or do based on what type of person I think they are. Now, I have been proven wrong on a number of occasions, but most of the time I'm right. That's why it's a stereotype.

Here's an example. You may not know Facebook, but it's an application where you can meet and network with business associates, friends or family, or just express your ideas and preferences online. Part of the application entails you detailing 'what you are doing right now' in a box called 'Status'. From this people can see what you are thinking, experiencing or just want to say at any stage.

Now, as soon as I see a girl putting things in her status that have to do with glorifying God I immediately see them as a shallow, frivolous person whose lives are in a permanent state of panic. I hate it. I'm all for people giving glory to the Father, but when they do it with Facebook I feel that it cheapens the experience because you can't fully explain what happened. And in my experience the people who put these types of things in their status are people who live in constant fear, without control of their lives, hoping that God will guide them to what they should eat for lunch today.

At the same time you can look at a guy with long hair and immediately see him as a dirty and forward person who probably listens to heavy metal and can barely string three sentences together. Now, some of the time the stereotype is going to ring true, some of the time you will be wrong and some of the time the truth is a mixture of the two.

This isn't a problem if you can choose to look past these stereotypes and actually get to know the person, but in my case, and almost entirely when it comes to potential girlfriends, this is mostly impossible because I write the woman off before I've even said hello.

You see, I'm an analyst. I love to analyse anything and everything from the word go, and it affects my perception of people. And for me it's a problem because as a result of this, directly or indirectly, I've never had a girlfriend because all the girls I've ever gotten to know I've written off before I really knew them.

And now I'm scared, because even if I did like a girl I wouldn't actually know how to approach it without coming on too strong, or alienating the person, I wouldn't know how to read the 'signs', assuming there are any and I wouldn't know how to look past the things I see immediately. I don't know.

The other thing of course is that I could spend all day finding excuses as to why I can't do anything right now: I don't know if I'll have to move for work, I'm currently broke because I don't have a job, stress at home and about a thousand other reasons.

I guess in this case, the first thing to do is to choose to look past the stereotype, and then to take a risk. I'll probably get burned a few times and make quite a few mistakes, but I'll just have to wing it. At the end of the day the timing isn't going to be perfect, and neither am I so it's all a risk really.

I guess it's time I broke some of my stereotypes...

The Other Side of the Pancake

This is one of my 'things'. Everyone has things that they value very strongly; ideals and principles that they strive for in their day to day living, and hearing both sides of the story is one of my 'things'. Other things I value are honesty and integrity, not being emotionally governed, justice / fairness [not the same but usually go hand in hand] and never judging or imposing your ideas on anyone else.

Now, recently a friend of mine challenged me about my lifestyle. He believes that my current lifestyle is not in line with Christianity and I need to make changes. Now, I don't mind people challenging me, in fact I love it, but I don't enjoy it when it's executed as a judgement rather than a conversation.

Before we can conclude if my lifestyle is not in line with the lifestyle of a Christian, we have to determine what the requirements are for one to be seen as a Christian.

Not everyone agrees with this, but I believe that being a Christian means two things: Accepting Jesus as your Savior and then living by the principles that governed his life, and are laid out in the Bible. This however is where the problem comes in.

The question of how to define salvation is a difficult one, and the answer is rather convoluted, but basically it means that we acknowledge that if Jesus hadn't given up His perfect life, we would all be going south very fast. But that's not where it ends, but rather where it starts.

From there the basic idea is that we have to improve our lives by reading the Bible and applying the principles that are outlined in the Bible, which are also the same principles that Jesus lived by when he was around. Now, this is an extremely simplified version because there are many different things in the Bible that people can interpret differently based on their own ideals and experiences.

Example, Ephesians 5v3 states "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." [NIV]

Now I may read that and say, "Cool, I don't drink to get drunk, I don't do drugs, I am a virgin, I'm not greedy, so I'm good"

But another person may come along and say "Drinking is wrong because alcohol is a poison therefore it's impure, therefore it's wrong. Smoking is an impurity, therefore it's wrong. Any sort of sexual activity, irrespective of how small [I'm talking about holding hands, kissing etc] is wrong, and wanting anything in life is greedy because all we need is air, therefore we should not want anything so that's wrong too."

Now, is one of these wrong? I'm not entirely sure, but this is why listening to both sides of the story is imperative.

My friend believes that any sort of drinking is wrong, any sort of smoking is wrong, and even going to a club where there are people doing drugs is wrong. I don't feel that way. I believe that drinking or smoking done in moderation, and responsibility, is the way to go. If you can do these things and go into a club and have a good time without having to be drunk or high or hook up with some girl, then you're more likely to make an impact on people you meet than someone who just comes in and believes everything around him or her is wrong.

Having said that, you can go into a club and not partake in any of the activities around you, and still make an impact on the people around you. At the end of the day, how much of an impact you make comes down to your attitude.

If you have a rubbish attitude, people don't want to talk to you. I have made a bigger influence by going to clubs, having a drink and chatting to drunk people than I ever did when I was trying to be the perfect Christian. But again, that's just my view of things, and it's not guaranteed to be right.

At the end of the day, I hope to be able to always hear people out, not to judge people and to be true to what I believe is right based on what the Bible says. Sure it's unlikely that I'll agree 100% with anyone in the world, because we all have different experiences and different interpretations of what we believe, but if you are happy to hear me out then I'm happy to chat.

No matter how flat you make a pancake, there are still two sides.

Rome Bound Part 5

This post has more to do with Chelsea and their recent rumors than Champion's League, but I suppose that changes in the club directly influence their success in CL, so I guess it's appropriate.

Recently there have been a huge amount of rumours going around about all kinds of things, some of them being Luiz Felipe Scolari being fired, Roman Abramovich selling the club, Ivanovic transferring [could happen], Terry transferring, Malouda transferring, Drogba being kicked out, Valencia being bought and Robinho coming to Chelsea. Of the above a few are likely, some could happen and one or two are NEVER going to happen. I'll take a look at each, give my opinion, and then put my own opinion out there as to what I think Chelsea should do.

Before we start, I would just like to say that I believe, and the general consensus is that Chelsea need new players, if not now then before next season, simply because the team have had so many injuries, as well as having a slightly 'thinner' squad than in previous years, and indeed than most top flight clubs. Chelsea have 25 players in their first team squad, while Manchester United have over 30 and Real Madrid have nearly 40.

Rumor 1 - Luiz Felipe Scolari being fired.

Luiz Felipe Scolari is a very successful coach who is clearly very good at his job, but has fallen victim to some unlucky times due to player injuries. The team haven't been performing well in the last 6 - 8 weeks, and as a result he has come under fire. Theoretically he is only the second coach since Abramovich bought the club [Avram Grant doesn't really count], and so there really isn't any evidence that Chelsea fire their managers if they don't win immediately. But people talk, and their was a rumor that he would be fired if the team didn't beat United, which the didn't do. Luckily for him, he still has his job and the team are doing 'better'. At the end of the day he's a great coach and I really think it would have been dumb to have fired him.

Rumor 2 - Roman Abramovich selling the club

I have no idea where this one came from, but it's unlikely that it'll happen soon simply because he's put too much money into the club, and there's no one who is likely to pay $1 bn for Chelsea during this economic climate. And if some Saudi family did buy the club, that would be a good thing, not a bad thing, because they would have hundreds of millions of pounds to flash around buying players like Ricardo Kaka, or Lionel Messi or whoever tickled Scolari's fancy. At the moment's Abramovich is suing a newspaper, so I don't think he's going to sell anytime soon.

Rumor 3 - Ivanovic transferring

This one could happen, because since moving to Chelsea, he hasn't really impressed much, even though he's a great defender, and I don't think his style of play really works for the club. There's a rumor that Inter Milan are trying to buy him, and apparently so are Manchester City [no surprise there...] but I think it's more likely that he'll move to Inter Milan because they are prepaired to give Chelsea another Portuguese defender, as well as money which is nice. If I remember correctly the Portuguese defender [I can't remember his name] has worked with Scolari before, and is very good, so this deal looks like it will go through in the next week...

Rumor 4 - Terry moving to Manchester City

Mark Hughes really has lost the plot, bidding 40 mil for Terry. Besides the fact that he'd never move, I don't know if 40 mil is enough. If you're willing to spend 263 mil on Kaka, then Terry is probably worth a little more...

Rumor 5 - Malouda Moving

People say that Malouda has been a flop ever since joining Chelsea, but I don't agree with that. He may not have been what people were expecting but he's a great right wing, and I hope the club don't sell him, or at least not now. I guess if they choose to sell him after the season, and they get a good price, it may be worth it. But I like him, he's second string behind Joe Cole, and he's got a great eye for a cross as well as making some really energetic runs.

Rumor 6 - Drogba Moving

I really don't know what's going on here. There are so may rumors going around that Scolari hates him, he hates Chelsea, he's in love with France etc. Personally I don't want him to leave because he's a better striker than Anelka [my opinion] and he's had some injury problems but he's all good now so I can't see him not playing really well. I say keep Drogba until his contract runs out, and if he's not playing well in 2 years time sell him, otherwise please keep him because he's awesome.

Rumor 7 - Valencia

I think this one might be true, because since the beginning of the season when the club lost out on Robinho, they have been struggling on the left wing and central midfield. As a result I think the team needs at least one more wing player and one more central midfielder, and I think Valencia will be a great addition to the team.

Rumor 8 - Robinho

People are saying that Robinho is unhappy at Manchester City, but I don't know what's happening there. All I can say is that it sucks that he didn't go to Chelsea, and it woud be great if he ends up there soon.

Rumor 9 - Teves

Chelsea have put a bid in to buy Teves from United, and I really want him to join the team. His contract ends at United at the end of the season, and with him playing second string to Rooney and Berbatov, I reckon he'll move no qualms. Apparently Real Madrid have also officially registerd their intent to buy him, but I think he'll want to stay in England, that is why he chose West Ham in the first place...


Ok, so here's what I think. Chelsea are a great team with great facilities. They have a few great players who are you and are not the best in the world now but will probably be in 3 years time and I think they need their chance to train with the best and play in the squad. Having said that, you still need stability within the rest of the squad, so I think they need one new winger, Teves if I had my way, and one new central midfielder or a new left back because if they get a new left back then Belletti can play in midfield instead of right back, where Paulo Ferriera has moved from.

If they can get a new left back, then Ferriera can move back to right back with Bosingwa, so the central midfielders would then be Lampard, Ballack, Belletti and Deco. Wings would be J Cole, Malouda, Kalou and one more, and strikers would be Drogba and Anelka. Di Santo and Stoch play on the wings, Kakuta plays central midfield and Mancienne plays full back.

I don't know if it'll happen but it'll be great if it does...

Rings

Commitment. I don't know if it's a universal thing, but it sees that it's always that is taken very seriously, and needs to be considered long and hard before making a decision about a commitment, and the longer the commitment the longer the thinking involved.

Now, there's a stereotype which says that guys have a problem with commitment. I don't know if this is founded on anything but I think I may have a problem with commitment. Not really anything in specific, but I just really don't like to say yes or no to anything I can't follow through on, and more so with anything I don't have a guarantee that I can't follow through on.

I don't like to commit to anything that could end up being, or will be, long term. And I don't like to commit to anything that will have changing conditions. I guess that's part of why I'm having such a rough time deciding on a career, and in the more immediate future, this job as an Air Traffic Controller.

I haven't heard back from them yet, other than that they want my Matric Certificate which I don't have and am waiting to get, but the idea of working in a company where I need to sign a 5 year contract literally keeps me up at night. And the situation is made worse because I may need to move around the country and work in different airports wherever they may need me.

I don't know why but I literally have anxiety all the time about this situation as well as other situations like what's going to happen to my gran? She can't move into the place she needed to go to, so now she has to move in with my family, but that is not going to be good. Trust me.

At the same time I have a whole lot of other stuff going on with friends and this isn't making the situation any better. I am just very scared that I'm going to make a commitment that I can't get out of, and end up hating my life 6 months after taking the job, or whatever the case may be.

I don't know if it's just me being silly and not wanting to commit at all, or if it's me being being pessimistic, or if I'm actually being wise in considering everything. I know I can't run away from my problems but at the moment facing them is fairly difficult.

I don't want to end up in a situation where commitment in general is a problem, so if that is the root problem then maybe dealing with that now is the way out, but I also don't want to waste time not making a decision.

Either way I need to face everything and hope it doesn't kill me. I need to eventually make a decision and stick by it, and then not make everyone else's life a living hell. I guess all I can do is make the best decisions possible in every situation that comes my way, and then hope that it all works out...

No Rest For The Wicked

I won't lie to you, I'm having a shit time at the moment. A friend of mine who has had some rather 'world shaking' experiences of late called me 'wicked'. Now, if you aren't from a Christian background you may not know this, but in the Bible the term 'wicked' is reserved for demons and Lucifer. Satanists are described as having a wicked lifestyle but aren't actually called wicked. To be called wicked is probably the harshest thing you can call anyone...

Now, whenever anyone accuses me of anything, I have two choices.

1 - Disregard their opinion.

I only do this if the person is a complete random, and they have made no attempt to understand my theology, beliefs, views or situation. This is the type of thing I do when a person enters my life and immediately passes judgment.

2 - Consideration and assessment

This is my default option. It doesn't really matter what any person has accused me of, I will almost always consider what they have said, look at it from their viewpoint, look at it from my viewpoint, talk to people and then make an assessment. If I feel I need to change something I will do so, and if I disagree I do my best to put it behind me, which is almost always easier said than done.

Now in this case I have chosen to assess what this person has said to me simply because I know him very well and have respect for him. My problem is that I have no idea what he is basing this accusation on, and I can't think of anything that would set me apart as a 'wicked' person. He told me that I am a lukewarm person based on a parable in the New Testament [which I've studied and I believe he has the wrong interpretation of anyway] but I can't actually see anything that I am doing in my life that is blatantly against the word of God.

Here's what I think has happened. I think that my friend has had his world rocked, and as a result is reverting to a very idealistic and fundamentalism view of the world and Christianity, and because what he believes has been rocked he is clinging onto the purest form of what he believes to be right and sees everything else as completely wrong. He is not open to discussion or interpretation of the Word and won't even engage in a discussion where he hears anyone's side of the story and then not pass some sort of sweeping judgment.

I have a huge amount of respect for my friend, and love him with all my heart, and I hope that I can walk away without carrying hurt in my heart, because I do feel hurt at the moment.

Anyway, on a lighter note, it seems as if my gran might survive her latest trip to the hospital which is actually going to cause more stress for the family than if she were to peg. Now we need to sell her house and move her into a new home with frail care without offending her so badly that she never wants to talk to any of us ever again. Lots of stress because my uncle is going back to Australia next week.

I'm also having a really rough time with Cate at the moment, and I've recently come off my anti-depressants to try and help my fatigue, and I think I'm getting sick too.

All in all I feel really drained, and it's not really anyone in specific's fault, and I'm not sure what to do to make it better. And having to possible move cities isn't helping either.

Oh well, I've had my rant now. It's time to get better and do some more thinking...

Still!

Ahoy all. Sorry for still not blogging, my life is slowly being made more and more complicated, and every time I get home I'm worn out and just want to sleep or dota. I have a band meeting now which has the potential to be very awful, and I'm tired and have a headache so I'm not looking forward to it.

I am also quite irritated with someone I know, and things aren't looking up in that field.

At the same time, my job interview went really well, so hopefully something will come from that, but I'll have to wait and see.

I promise I will blog something meaningful [I have about 4 half finished blogs on things like work, money and equality, as well as one on compromise] before the end of the weekend...

Recent Events

Ok, so tomorrow morning is my job interview, and to be honest I'm getting nervous. I was supposed to organise my matric certificate to show that I'm actually not a fool, but unfortunately I couldn't get it from my old school because they are moving building, so I'm going to tell them that I'll get it to them early next week. Other than that I'm quite anxious to see what type of quetions they ask me, because they are supposed to ask me some questions about aviation and flight and logistics. Now the logistics don't worry me too much, but I'm not an expert when it comes to flight and aviation, but take it as it comes.

So spare a thought for me tomorrow morining at 08h00 when I go for my interview, I suspect it'll be slightly nerve wracking but I'll learn from it and hopefully score a sweet job in the process.

Other than that, things are not looking up with family business. My gran is sick and she may actually pull through [again] from this pneumonia, but this has caused much family fighting because people disagree about how is the best way to look after her. Should she move out of her house, or should she stay? Where should she go? Where is the money coming from? These questions are not condusive to family relations.

As a result I have quite a bit of stress in my system and actually have neck aches and sore shoulders and often have headaches. It's part of life I guess.

Tomorrow I'll fill you all in on what happened in the interview, as well as a New Adventures and some food for thought about working and the like. So check back tomorrow...

As Honest As A Book

Right, I haven't been blogging of late, because I have had quite a lot going on, and to be honest I've been really emotionally and intellectually drained, and haven't really had much to give for blogging. For that I apologise. So what's been going on? Well, here's the deal.

My mom's mother is pretty sick, and she's probably going to die soon, so we've been spending a lot time arranging our lives around visiting hours, as well as seeing my uncle and his partner who are both down from Australia. It's really nice to see them again, but the circumstances really suck.

It was my brother's birthday the other day, and he's really having a rough time with all the stress in the house, and he and Cate don't get on well, I think. He never shares his emotions with anyone, but he's been feeling sick and that only really happens when the stress just becomes too much for him. I feel really bad because on one hand I know he needs to go through this and experience everything in order to get over it, but on the other hand I feel like I should be doing something to make it all better, I mean he's only 16. It's a really hectic thing to go through, and I'm sure he wishes he had a father, but he doesn't and I can't be that for him.

I've also been pretty nervous about what I'm going to do in the future, and now I have a wonderful job opportunity to be trained and work as an Air Traffic Controller. Everything is still up in the air [pun intended] at the moment, but I'll find out more on Friday after my interview.

I have also been told to get my thyroid tested because I've been feeling so lethargic of late, which is a bit of a worry, but you never know. Maybe that's why I've been feeling like I need to sleep for 12 hours a day.

Other than all of those things, I've been reading a wonderful book by a man named NT Wright called "The New Testament and the People of God". It's an amazing book which has kept me super interested since I started it and I'm sure there will be blogs to come about various theological issues, one of them being context of scripture and another being styles of preaching.

Anyway, now you know and I'm sure things will get better shortly...

My Mom

I love my mom. A lot. She is an amazing woman with a heart for anyone who appeals to her for help. She is very good at listening and understanding what you are feeling and saying, and she is the only person I know who cries for people in movies because she actually feels a person's pain.

She is extremely hospitable, and anytime people come over she really loves making sure they're comfortable and well fed and all those other wonderful things. She is also extremely thoughtful, and has an amazing capacity to remember people's likes and dislikes, and actually works around those as best she can.

She will go to the ends of the earth for her friends, and family, irrespective of how she feels about things.

Don't get me wrong, she has her vices as we all do. She has very high standards and loves to impose those standards on people around her, and she can be fairly opinionated, which can lead to me feeling like I've let her down, but for the most part we get on really well.

I think the key to our relationship is the fact that we are super honest with each other, and we hear each other out. We often spend hours together talking about anything and everything, spending time getting into each other's heads and really trying to feel what the other person is feeling.

While my mom and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, we both love each other very much, and I wouldn't hesitate to trust her with anything at any time.

Take The Good With The Bad

I hate the fact that everything has to be balanced. Like, why can't it all be wonderful? And if it has to be balanced, does it have to be equally balanced? Can't it be balanced but leaning to the good side? No. This is life, and it doesn't work that way.

At the moment I don't know why it works like that, and I probably never will, but I do know that life is about how you deal with situations and not what the situation is. If you can deal with every situation with the same intensity and composure you'll be in a very strong place. And that's what I'm trying to do at the moment.

Chelsea lost yesterday, 3 - 0, and my gran was moved back into ICU. Now, they are both bad situations but I need to be able to walk away from both of them without my life ending. So that's what I'm trying to do [it's a fair amount more difficult with the situation with my gran...]

At the same time, I've got two possible jobs lined up, and I'm really excited to see what's going to happen there, particularly with one of them, which I have an interview for on Friday. Good stuff.

I know this is a rubbish blog, but I'm thinking about a lot of stuff at the moment, which I'll blog on later, but right now this is all you're getting so learn a lesson: take the good with the bad.

Johann's Note

I recently met a wonderful man named Johann. He's everything my parents wish I was, and to some extent I wish I was too. He's currently busy with his Ph.D in genetics, and this is a note he recently published. It is something that has irritated me about many Christians, and I've been considering blogging about for a while, but I just haven't gotten around to it. Now that Johann has done it so eloquently I don't think I can do any better, so here it is. Enjoy.



A brief and lighthearted word to the 'Emergent Church'
excerpts and paraphrases from 'The Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World', John Piper. Crossway books (2007).

'But now I am coming to you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves.'
John 17:13

Christ summarises his goals for human beings in this verse:

1. That we may have 'his' joy.

Christ's obedience to the cross was sustained by the joy that was set before him (Heb 12:2) and the 'joy that was set before him' was his return to the Father to see and share in the Father's glory (John 17:3-5). Therefore, when Jesus speaks of 'his joy' being fulfilled in us he means that he wants us to enjoy the Father as He does.

2. And that the mechanism for 'having' this joy is the 'things He has spoken in the world'

Christ shares this joy with us by means of understandable propositions (or Bible doctrine) and statements about himself and his Father and his work, which the Holy Spirit illumines and ignites as the kindling of our passion for Christ.

The only joy that reflects the worth of God and overflows in God glorifying love is rooted in the true knowledge of God... and to the degree that our knowledge is small or flawed our understanding of God will probably be a distortion, and the joy based on it a poor echo of God's true excellence.

The postmodern embrace of the 'mysterious' is contrary to the antithetical nature of scripture. The joy you have in what you know of God is intensified by the expectation that there is so much more to see. Here is the correct place for mystery: that the mystery of what you don't know gets its God-glorifying power from what you do know. God is not glorified by strong feelings of wonder that flow from ignorance of what He is like. To say 'My joy is in the journey toward knowing, not the arrival' is to make an idol out of the journey and turn Heaven into a sore disappointment. Jesus is not honoured by the exploration of various christologies, any more than your wife would be honoured by your indecision concerning her character.

Jesus is honoured by our knowing and treasuring him for who He really is.

Our feelings about him do not make him what He is.
Our feelings about him reflect the value of what we think He has.

And if our knowledge of him is wrong, to that degree our enjoyment of him will be no honour to the real Jesus.

Our joy displays his glory when it is a reflex of seeing him for who He really is.




I'd like to thank Johann for giving me permission to use his note, and say thanks for the awesome chat he, Matt and I had the other day. He's a really brilliant man, with a faith that is firmly based in intellectual understand, as well as being able to take into account the 'human element'. I've only spoken to him once, but I shall be chatting with him again soon, and I'm sure that he'll be appearing in 'New Adventures' shortly.

Light Inside The Tunnel

It's funny how things appear bright when everything else around is so very dark. Today an old friend of mine, Kenn, let me know that there's a job opening at a music shop in the CBD. I sent him my CV and he's going to pass it along to the guys, and perhaps I'll have a job sooner rather than later.

Right now everything is very bleak. My gran is in hospital again, and she's probably going to die; an old friend's daughter has developed anorexia and I've been feeling really useless, but now I feel as if I have some sort of hope.

I'm not expecting to work in a music shop for the rest of my life, and I don't know where this job, if I get it, will go but for now I feel good because it's something more than nothing.

I'll keep you updated, but for now I'd like to meet some new people, earn some money, have time to write and think and do all of this while doing something I'll enjoy, like working with musical instruments. In case you don't know, music is something I truly love...

Rome Bound Part 4

This Sunday is quite a big day because Chelsea are playing Manchester United, and while it hasn't got anything to do with Champion's League, it's going to be a great game. These two teams are both in the top 10 teams in Europe and while I don't expect a lot of goals, I do expect it to be a really evenly matched, competitive game.

Manchester United are often seen as late starters, and that's certainly the case this season, with almost all of their players fit [Wes Brown and Owen Hargreaves are still injured]. Chelsea are in a similar position in that most of their squad are fit now too [Michael Essien and Flourent Malouda are still injured], but their recent track record has left much to be desired.

Having said that, United have the best home record in the Premier League, while Chelsea have the best away record in the Premier League. Chelsea have also scored the most goals and conceded the least amount of goals, as well as having the most shots on target this season. But let's not discredit United's defense, who haven't conceded a goal since they played Arsenal in mid November, and are undefeated at home in the last 13 games.

All of these add up to a very good game on Sunday, and no matter who you support it's worth watching.

My ideal United team for Sunday:
[They played this formation against Liverpool this season, and won 2-1]
4-3-3, Left to Right
> Van Der Sar
> Evra; Ferdinand; Vidic; Neville
> Ronaldo; Carrick; Scholes
> Teves; Berbatov; Rooney


My ideal Chelsea team for Sunday:
[They've been playing this formation of late, and it's really working]
4-1-2-3, Left to Right
> Cech
> A Cole; Terry; Carvalho; Bosingwa
> Mikel
> Lampard; Ballack
> Anelka; Drogba; J Cole

Moving Toward A Journey

I am 21 years old and I'm scared because I don't have any clue what I want to do with my life. I don't know what my career should be, I don't know what I enjoy and I don't know how I can improve myself. And I'm scared. Very scared.

You see, I don't know what I should be doing this year. My parents want me to study, but I don't know what I should study even if I choose to do so. I need cash to live, but I haven't got a job and I don't know of any particular sector that I'd like to work in. The only thing I know is that I don't want to fall into mediocrity.

What is mediocrity? Well, it's the person who got a job because they didn't know what they wanted to do, and just never moved on. They've got a house and a spouse, kids [NO NO NO] and a mortgage and they are miserable in their job, so the are constantly drained and don't do anything they enjoy and don't even attempt to better their lives. That scares me.

You see, in many ways I am in that position right now. I don't know what I should be doing, and I don't know how to better my life. I just know that I need to find something to get myself moving.

I guess it's easier to steer a moving ship, but finding the right direction to move in is fairly difficult, especially because I've already moved in 3 directions and I'm not sure that any of them are appropriate for me. I didn't enjoy them and I don't know if I will ever enjoy anything because I get bored so easily.

Sometimes I think that falling into mediocrity is inevitable and there is nothing I can do to avoid it. Sometimes I think I should study so I don't have to work, and whatever happens, happens. I know I'm clever enough to get a doctrine in anything I choose, but I would hate to end up doing something that isn't stimulating and for the rest of my life. And then I get scared and I don't do anything.

This approach isn't working for me. But is taking a risk the right thing to do? Is it what will get me jump started and moving in the right direction? Or am I just depressed?

I know that at the moment I sleep about 12 hours a day, and when I'm awake I'm tired and want to sleep more. I feel numb toward most things in life, and I feel like I'm disconnected all the time. Maybe taking a risk at this stage is a bad thing, because I may not be in the right frame of mind.

But at the same time, is there ever a right time? I think not.

All I know is that I feel disconnected and shit, and I don't want to do anything too risky because I don't want to regret it. I can't live through another upset. There's too much happening at the moment for me to be able to walk away unscathed...

At this stage I'm on a journey, and it's very slow and horribly bumpy right now. I guess all I can do is hold on and trust YHVH and myself, that I'll be able to get up and move on irrespective of what happens.

Another Quickie

Ok, later I will post a real blog, but for now I'd just like to say a few things:

1) Megan, Gareth's lady friend, has to leave to go back to England tomorrow, which sucks. We will all miss her very much, and we hope to see her again soon.

2) I found out today that I have about 20 or so daily readers of my blog, so hello to all of you. I really appreciate your support and hope to entertain you with thrilling tales every Thursday, band reviews over the weekends, as well as my own thoughts and views on life, relationships, love [when I eventually get there] and everything in between.

If you enjoy the blog, feel free to invite other people to read everyday too, the more the merrier.

3) Well done to Matt. He has been selected to be a Honors Teacher's Assistant this year at his university, so that's awesome. Pretty much it means that he gets paid for doing nothing. Bargain.

Check back often for updates, apparently I blog 8.2 times a week...

The Lie We Call The Truth

There's a wonderful song by a band named Dream Theater entitled 'Repentance', which is about making amends by confession of mistakes people have made. In the middle of the song they have about 15 sound bites of different band members and friends [Joe Satriani, Steve Wilson, Steve Vai etc] confessing things they regret. At the end of the song there is a voice that says "You're only as sick as your secrets, but the truth shall set you free", to which John Petrucci replies "The truth is the truth, all you can do is live with it."

When I heard that for the first time, I thought 'wow, that's the real truth'. You see, as people we are conditioned to believe that if you tell the truth everything is hunky-dory, and after we've told the truth there should be no consequences for anything we may or may not have done. This is of course bullshit.

And in my opinion, this problem is compounded by Christianity where it is taught that Jesus is the truth, and the truth will solve all your problems. Now, I'm sure everyone reading this can see that there is a massive difference between identifying Jesus as the truth and not telling a lie, as well as the fact that Jesus isn't the answer to all of your problems. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that Y'shua [Jesus] is only the answer to one problem in your life, namely Hell. Other than that, I'm sure He's eager to help, but that's about it.

Now I'm sure that many Christians all over the place are outraged by this comment, saying that Jesus is the answer to all problems, but that's not true in my opinion. Example, if you need to cross a river, saying Jesus won't get you across the river. Building a raft may help, you may even find a bridge to get across, but neither of those things are likely to be Jesus. Sure, you can pray and ask for help, and I'm sure He'll give you the help you need, but Jesus sure isn't the bridge, or the raft; He's the help.

Anyway, back onto the truth. The truth isn't the answer to your problems, in most cases. Example, my father is going through a sex change. His name was Peter, but as a woman her name is Cate. Now, Peter started doing 'woman' things when he was much younger but never dealt with it until a few years ago. Peter told his wife and two children he wanted to be a woman almost two years ago now, and so started the process of becoming Cate. That was the truth being revealed.

Cate has more problems than Peter ever did though; she's got a child [me] who had a physiological predisposition toward depression before which has been extremely aggravated by the situation and as a result had suffered from very deep depression, a wife who has had her ministry taken away from her and has lost friends by making decisions they don't agree with, and another child who is clearly suffering the consequences of losing a father and high stress levels in the home. And that's not to mention what the rest of the family thinks and says about the situation, losing friends, a changing work situation and the financial strain that has been put on the family as a result of laser surgery, psychological treatment and all the other costs involved.

The truth didn't set anyone free in this situation.

So, is the truth a waste of time? It doesn't seem to be doing anyone any good and it appears to causes more harm that anything else? Well, no. The truth is a very good thing because it reveals underlying problems, and those problems can only be solved if they are encountered head on. I also think that those problems are the ones that, when fixed, have lasting benefits.

A perfect example: Peter could never truly connect with my brother and I because he wasn't comfortable with who he was. As a result I've never felt close to my father, I've never felt like he was a strong person who I could tell anything. But since I've been trying to get to know Cate better, I've learned that she is a much stronger person who is more comfortable and can actually take responsibility and face problems without backing out because she's tired or just doesn't know what to do.

Even during my deepest depression Peter was nowhere to be found, but now Cate is far more supportive and actually tries to understand what is going on. If Cate had never emerged as a result of the truth, I would have never had the experience of someone I can go to and get 'fatherly' advice from. Sure it is still fucking difficult to approach her, knowing she used to be my father, and I don't see Cate as my father, but it's an ongoing process and I'm sure that in the end it'll be worth it.

So the truth in the 'real world' has lasting benefits and I would say it's not the answer to the problems, but it's the beginning of the journey to finding the solution. From a Biblical perspective we'd all be screwed without Jesus, but I don't think we really need to go there...

I have a theory that the larger the secret, and the longer it takes for the truth to be accepted or understood, the larger the reward.

The truth and honesty go hand in hand, and are two characteristics I'm am trying to implement more and more in my life. It's a difficult journey because at the moment I feel that I've told the truth and am being burnt for it but I have to accept that the pain now is a risk and hopefully it'll pay off in a strong way later.

At the end of the day, the most difficult part of telling the truth is having faith in the people around you. Faith that they will live up to what they have said they will do, faith that they will have integrity and know how to deal with it, and faith that they will be who you need them to be in that moment. And that faith can easily be destroyed by being burned, but getting back up and having faith again is the important part. Remember, the people around you are exactly the same as you, they make mistakes and have to live with them in the same way you or I do. We just have to trust that they will make the right decision.

What You Thought Would Happen

Expectations. We all have them, and we are content when they are met, and are actually happy when they are surpassed. In most cases, as unfair as they may be at times, we are disgusted when they are not met. While expectations are a good thing at times, I find that in most cases they are not expressed and bring about more trouble than anything else. Let's look at one of my favorite stories, and I'll show you what I mean.

Cast your mind back to when you are a child and remember possibly the darkest children's story ever; Alice In Wonderland. In one of the 'scenes' Alice comes to a junction in the road and doesn't know which way to go. She sees a cat in a tree and asks him "Which road should I choose?" to which the cat questions "Where do you want to go?" Alice, taken aback by this answer replies by saying "I don't know." The cat then wryly says "Then it doesn't matter which one you choose"

Sidebar - Now, at this stage I'd like to point out that in the story every character represents different parts of Alice's psyche and there are many different ways to read into each different part of the story, but I'm using this part as an example for my point. Ok, back to the story.

Now I can only presume that Alice didn't get the answer she was looking for, and would probably be a bit bewildered and possibly even irritated by this response. The cat on the hand would, in my opinion, be feeling rather high-and-mighty having pushed his point across, even though Alice probably just saw him as being rude. But has this really helped anyone?

From a 3rd person perspective we can see that Alice was really asking for advice because she was, in this case, lost and needed help. The cat on the other hand was trying to make Alice see that she was wrong to ask the question in that manner, but wasn't going to tell her that because he wanted her to figure it out herself. He wanted her to do a bit of soul searching but she was busy on an adventure and wasn't keen to stop for anything but a drink of water.

This type of thing happens all the time. One person is on a mission to do 'something' and the other person is on a mission to rethink life in general. Because of these two different perspectives each person has a different expectation and when the two converse both parties walk away disappointed because their expectations haven't been met. Had they two parties sat down and spoken honestly and been open to hear what the other party was expecting no one would have had any hurt feelings.

But Alice was too busy living her life without thinking, and the cat was too stubborn to stop thinking and actually live by meeting people on their level. Now that doesn't mean that the cat was wrong, but it does mean that both parties have to put in the effort if anyone is going to walk away happy with the outcome.

This happens everyday in life. People expect something to happen and when it doesn't they discard whatever it was that didn't 'perform' because it didn't do what they wanted it to. The tragedy is that in most cases these discarded items aren't items at all, they are relationships with parents, boyfriends or girlfriends, siblings or just a great friend who failed to complete some impossible task like reading your mind and knowing you were secretly upset about an earlier event. And this is where the problem with expectations comes in...

Having an expectation is like having an opinion; you're entitled to it and I think not having one is a bad thing. But not expressing it is a problem, and not listening and understanding someone else's expectation is as much a problem.

So next time you feel upset about something take a second out and actually define what you expected to happen, and if it was a reasonable expectation. I suspect that if people did this more often there would be much less fighting in life...

I'd also like to mention Gareth my film directing friend because he asked me to.

Turning Points

Turning points occur in every person's life at some stage, and they can be for the better or for the worse, but invariably they are brought about by an intense incident; something that shapes you as a person by causing you either drastically change your behavior or your outlook on life. And usually these things have lasting repercussions which ripple throughout your life as well as the lives around you.

In my own life, I can say that there have been many turning points, most of them directly related to my depression. An example being when I was in Matric and I realised that I had no idea of what I wanted to do the following year; I immediately lost interest in working for anything because I felt I had nothing to work for. As a result I got bad marks, which got me down, which gave me even less motivation, so I worked even less, which got me down etc. It's a negative cycle which can, and often does in my case, bring about serious depression on either a physiological or physiological level.

But the turning points that usually have more powerful and lasting repercussions are those that endanger a person's life and make you rethink your behavior. When I was in 1st year university I was giving my friends a lift in one morning and we were running late. I had a math [my favorite subject at uni] test that morning and so I was driving fairly aggressively. I hadn't done anything crazy or reckless, but I was aggressive. A man did something stupid and smashed into the front of my car. That was a turning point for me.

He was the only one to blame because he didn't indicate or follow the rules of the road, which I was following, but I was being aggressive and I can't help but think that if I hadn't been so eager to go I would have been able to avoid disaster. But the thing that really made me rethink my driving was the fact that I had people in the car with me, who could have been injured. It wasn't my fault, and no one was injured, but had someone died I would never have been able to forgive myself.

These events change who you are as a person, and I'm happy to say that I am a much more responsible driver. Sure I can drive fast, and I can race, but I only do it when I am sure the odds are in my favor, and when it feels right. Not only have I had racing training, but I have learned to trust my gut instinct, and this has helped me immensely as a person as well as a driver.

Last night something terrible happened. It wasn't my fault, in fact it had almost nothing to do with me, and the truth is that the consequences of this particular event don't really change or affect my life, but they change my friend(s) outlook on drinking and how to do it responsibly and that then has a direct effect on me.

This was a terrible thing to happen [I don't have permission to say anything so I won't, but suffice to say it isn't something that anyone would have wanted] but on some level I'm glad it happened. For a while now I've been concerned that my friends were drinking irresponsibly, and were adopting a destructive attitude and all I can say is that I hope this changes things. No one is dead, but a lesson has been put across and we can choose to learn from it or to just let it slip by. Let's make the right decision.

New Adventures 26th - 1st

Right, so this week has actually been fairly quiet, until the 31st. Also, this is a VERY long post, so you may want to read it in parts. Please remember when answering my poll on "How can I improve my blog?" not to specifically bear this post in mind, but rather think of all the posts together...

Friday

Day after Christmas, pretty much I sat around at home waiting for my uncle and my gran to arrive for lunch. I'm not sure why but the ended up just coming for tea, and then after they had left I think I may have gone to Donovan's house to watch some football, and then just do the normal hang out thing.

Saturday

So Saturday was a cool day because two of my great friends Pierre and Justin went to get tattoos. Justin got the Latin lettering 'INRI' and what they stand for [in English it means 'Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews] on his arm, and Pierre got a 'Christogram' on his arm [it's an equal-length cross with the lettering ICXC NIKA, and simplified it means 'Jesus Christ the Victor']

After getting the tattoos, we did a bit of road tripping around the peninsula, and then that evening we went over to Pierre's place again to hang out, and have a hub. Unfortunately for us Donovan didn't like this idea and promptly pulled the hub over, spilling coals all over the carpet.

After a bit of a dampener on the evening we played some FIFA, and then something rather comical happened. Donovan and I played against each other, and he won. Then he played against Pierre, and he beat Donovan twice in a row which angered Donovan a fair amount. Then he said "Richard come play against me, I want to beat someone", which I was happy to do. Unfortunately for Donovan, I beat him fairly convincingly, and he mooched off in a huff.


Sunday

Sunday was a fairly lazy day, and we pretty much just went over to Donovan's place to watch football, and then went to Pete's post for a few games of pool before heading home and playing some dota.


Monday and Tuesday

Monday and Tuesday were both fairly normal, with us just watching some more football in the evening, and hanging out in the afternoon. On Tuesday I ate a piece of KFC chicken at Donovan's house, which didn't go down well with my system, and I felt quite miff as a result on Wednesday. But I got over it.

Wednesday

New Year's Eve. This was a fairly entertaining party, with the evening being a fairly long one, so I'm not sure if I'll get everything in the right order, so please forgive me if something isn't quite right.

So the evening started quite early, with Donovan, Stacey and I going over to Pierre's place at about 16h30 or so, and as soon as we got there we needed to leave again in order to get some stuff people had forgotten. We headed down to the Engen garage to pick up some yogurt [apparently it helps with drunken activities or something], smokes [not the first time this would happen that night], chips and dip. There was however one big problem, after I reminded Mike, he still forgot to get dip. At this stage someone decided that we needed dip, but I sure as hell wasn't going to wait in that Woolworth's line again, so we had to go and find somewhere else to buy it.

So we started by finding another garage which was pretty much empty, but they didn't have any dip, so that didn't work. Then we missioned over to the Garden Center, and went in search for some or other '1000 Island' dip which was proving more difficult to find that we had hoped. When we eventually found our way into the Woolworth's and then found the dips, none of them were '1000 Island' and it took Mike about 10 minutes of staring at the fridge to decide which one he wanted. After he asked the assistant if they have '1000 Island' dip about 3 times before he settled on 'Sweet Chili Cream Cheese' which was less tasty than you would have anticipated, but what can you do?

After that we went back to Pierre's house and we all had a shot of tequila around the same time we had dinner [there had been a braai, but I'm not sure if the shots were while, during of after everyone had dinner]. At this stage there weren't many people at Pierre's house and things were all good and well. You see, we weren't really supposed to be there, and so we were all being very careful about the carpet and whatever, but obviously with more people arriving, this was a slight concern. At the time it was Justin, Lauren, Mike, Stacey, Pierre, Kelly, Donovan, Matt, Tessa and I. Later however, Stacey's sister, and 4 others arrived as well as one of Mike's friends and 3 or 4 of her friends [as it turned out these guys were complete randoms to everyone, and they caused the most trouble], of these friends there are 4 we will identify, namely Lee, a wonderful gay man, 'Joburg girl', not the best looking girl I've ever met, and her accent was extremely annoying, '16 year old', a guy who told us he was 16 years old but I think he was lying, and finally 'wife beater', he started out as a polite guy and turned into a head mental as he drank more.

Right, so after the shots, everyone was in a good mood and making lots of jokes but after Donovan got a beer or two in him he was a little more drunk than anyone else and gave us a rather amusing mime of what a 'cunt kick' would look like. I'm sure you can figure out what that term means, and with Donovan shouting things like "Here's the cunt and you just go 'BAM' in there, LET GO NOW! Are you enjoying this? Well maybe I'll just wiggle my foot around..." This enactment was very funny, and even more funny because the neighbours behind had children who could see and hear all of this going on, but there was no stopping Donovan.

Shortly after this highly amusing mime, some of the guests arrived and things were going well, until something that truly shocked Pierre and I happened. I'm not at liberty to divulge anything too graphic but let's just say a person with a partner arrived and things didn't work out for the partner, although the partner doesn't know it. Pierre's response was "You have a lot of nerve...". I'm not sure if it is because of that comment, but I think the shocking person felt quite bad and again, things didn't turn out too well for any of the three people at the end. Ouch.

After that the party sort of just ran its course, with they guys starting to play drinking games, and Donovan ended up mostly taking his pants off, and Lisa almost showing us all her boobs. Pierre had his camera ready, but nothing happened in the end, which is probably lucky for her.

Ok, so I'm not sure of the exact order of the following things, but I know it was rather busy and convoluted, so what I'll do is describe things as sort of mini stories, and in most cases these stories happened at the same time as others, but it's the easiest way to make head or tail of what happened.

Mike was quite intoxicated all night, having had a few shots of tequila and then mixing it with mango juice and drinking it for pretty much the entire night. Now, I would personally do more shots and then just have plain mango juice, but I wasn't the one drunk so, his own decisions. I don't know when, but at some stage Mike told Justin that he was going to try and hook up with Joburg girl [we called her this because no one knew her name, and apparently she was going back to Joburg the following day], which I was surprised by because not only had she been hanging on Lee all night, but she was not the best looking, sounding or smelling person I had met that night. Clearly Mike was able to see something I wasn't, or he was just to drunk to care. Either way he and Joburg girl hooked up and that's awesome. First kiss in 3 years, first '2nd Base' in probably longer. I think he may regret kissing a smoker though, but I guess that's what toothpaste and showers are for. At some stage Joburg also scored with Lee, and I know he regretted that.

The next part in our story is about Wife Beater and 16 Year Old. These two guys started out as polite and friendly, and then became stranger and stranger as more of whatever they were drinking entered their system. Now the reason I refer to 16 year old with that name is two fold, firstly we asked him what his name was and he screamed it at us [like a metal, As I Lay Dying scream], and none of us could quite catch it so we all just nodded; secondly because at some stage he told us that he was 16. Now I'm not sure why he told us or if he was lying or not, but he was actually quite easy to get along with, simply because he got quite drunk [quite quickly] and then went outside and lay in the fetal position on the stones, occasionally throwing up.

Wife Beater on the other hand was a lot stranger, and a lot drunker, trying to have philosophical conversations with pretty much everyone he could. Problem was that he was struggling to string coherent sentences together, so most of the time we just avoided him. At some stage he told us he was at Stellenbosch University, but not to tell anyone because they were going to, and I quote, "steal my ideas". He has some other totally screwed up ideas about judgement and music, and then he tried to take Pierre and I on about science and philosophy, which was possibly the worst thing he could have done simply because I consider Pierre to be somewhat of an advanced expert in both of those fields and I think I can string a few coherent theorems together in both of these fields, so he was about to lose 'six love', not that he would have noticed because at that stage he was struggling to stand.

At some stage, just after midnight I think, I left the party to go and get smokes from the shop, and when I returned [with change that I put down and then lost, sorry to all relevant parties, if I had the money I would pay you back] I was summoned to the bathroom because Wife Beater had locked himself in and promptly passed out. Pierre had managed to pry the lock open and we carried him outside. We put him down on a bench and he just stayed asleep for a while, before occasionally emptying his stomach. Luckily for us we just sprayed the area down afterward, so bargain.

It was at this stage that Pierre and I found an opened condom wrapper then kicked everyone out. I picked Wife Beater up, carried him outside and put him on the pavement, leaving him there to his own devices. 16 Year Old, Joburg girl and another joined him outside shortly thereafter, with the door closing firmly behind them. All I can say is that car must have smelt very bad when they finally got home because there is simply no way that Wife Beater and 16 Year Old didn't make it home without puking. Fun was had by all, mostly.

Rewind a few hours, and we'll start with the next installment of our story which I hope you're all finding amusing. To be honest I'm struggling with this blog, but we'll just have to hope for the best 'ey? Anyway, we pick up now with Justin, who had made a deal with Mike and Gareth that he was going to get drunk at this party, simply because he doesn't usually drink at all, and he certainly accomplished his mission. By about 19h00 he was well on his way, participating in drinking games, but still holding his head. This didn't last long. A little before midnight, Donovan was doing something weird to Lauren [the girl Justin has a fairly large crush on] and Justin told Donovan not to force it, and that he had been waiting patiently. Lauren then replied by saying that you shouldn't only wait but should also push things occasionally. About 30 seconds after that, Lauren and Justin disappeared and shared their first kiss of the evening, which Pierre and I saw, and Pierre even took a picture of. How wonderful.

But the story didn't end there. I don't have permission from all parties involved to blog about this, but let's just say new experiences were shared, and there are no serious repercussions so nothing to worry about.

Ok, fast forward again to about 02h00, Lee's parents phoned and told us that they were lost and didn't know how to get to Pierre's house. After giving them rather clear directions, they phoned back and told us they were lost and to meet them at the fire station. Now, Lee was going to walk, but not only would the walk have taken him the better part of 45 minutes, he would have been raped on the way, so Donovan, who was at this stage sober, offered to give him a lift. Donovan, Lee and I jumped in the car and headed on down to the arranged meeting place. We were quite puzzled when we arrived and his parents weren't there. Lee phoned them and asked them where they were, and they replied "we're in Long Street". Now if you're not familiar with the CBD district, Long Street is nowhere near the fire station, and it's where there are lots of bars. I'm sure you can figure out why we had no idea what was going on.

Either way, we had a good time chatting to Lee about all kinds of random things, and he really is a wonderful person. Sure he's outspoken and quite harsh at times, but he's also a really understanding person who's compassion shows through the hard exterior. And he's really easy to get along with, being an overall great guy.

After Lee's parents arrived, we headed back to Pierre's place and mostly cleaned up vomit and all kinds of alien life forms we found in rather unpleasant places. And that's how the evening ended...

So, you may be asking, what did you and Pierre do the entire evening? Well, other than clean up after people we sat and discussed goals for the next year, and what our thoughts were for the previous year, and how to string them all together. I also managed to prove to my friends that getting me drunk is going to be a near impossible task, and hopefully they'll stop trying now. Probably not though. Other than kicking Wife Beater out and losing people's change, my evening was very uneventful, but I really did enjoy my chats with Pierre while smoking Vanilla hub.

I would like to say thank you to Pierre for being strong and not smoking any cigarettes the entire evening, as well as making difficult decisions that no one else wanted to make. And for being really cool with everything, I'm sorry your carpet got vomited on and your speakers are not working. While none of those things are my fault, it sucks that it happened and hopefully we can fix the speakers or something...

Where Are My New Adventures?

Thursday is indeed New Adventures day, but not this week. I've postponed New Adventures until tomorrow because I want to include my experience with New Year's Eve, and I'm still working on it.

In the meantime console yourselves with the fact that this week I have a few interesting posts coming up, so please be patient.