It's Gonna Be A Lovely Day

Today I feel better. In all honesty I have felt quite shit of late, and part of it has been because I've fallen into a bit of a negative cycle. You see when you're depressed, or at least when I'm depressed I don't like to speak to people. I like to not see people at all. While having space is important, usually this ends up being a bad thing.

So I know this, and have been making a real effort to spend time with people, and talk to them about what's going on in my life. And let me say, my friends are awesome. They are just so supportive, and listen really well, and are totally understanding of where I am and what's going on, I could never want any more.

There is however one problem. When you're using all your energy to talk to people, you have much less energy to do anything else. As a result of not being aware of this, I haven't being doing things at home to help the situation, and have been feeling quite worthless.

This is really not a good feeling. But what's worse is it ends up compounding things, because you feel like you can't do anything because you're worthless, so you do even less, so you feel even more worthless, so you do even less etc...

But last week I decided that it was time to do more. It didn't matter what I did, but I needed to do more. After the incident on Monday / Tuesday, I decided to get my CV together, and apply for a few jobs. So, that's what I did today.

I sent my CV off to two places today, one to a 'Data Capturing' company, and another to a Call Center place. At this stage I really don't care what work I get, as long as it isn't manual labor or retail work. I just want to earn some money and do something, because I think I'll feel better.

I'm really hoping to get the Data Capturing job, because it's flexi work, and I can work from home. Because of that I can use my time to do gigs, get some studio time and continue my research and writing, and at the same time I can earn some decent cash and feel better about myself.

So, now you know my weakness, what are yours? And what are you doing to help yourself overcome them? Do you need help? Or do you think you're ok? I know I need some help, hence my blog, but identifying the problem is half the battle...