A Mother Knows Best Part 2

Today’s title is a little misleading, but is a sequel to yesterday’s blog which was about relationships…

Anyway, so last night I was out with some friends and I saw a girl whom I had a rather large crush on a while back. Before I continue, let me elaborate on this crush…

If you read yesterday’s blog you’ll know that I don’t have and never have had a girlfriend and that I only want to date if there is a clearly defined intention for dating. Now, about 3 years ago, I was doing my own thing and was very content to be myself, single and just enjoy life. All of these things were coming to pass and life was awesome until I met a girl named Alice [Again that’s not her name, but I’m not putting her real name in for obvious reasons]. To be fair I’d known Alice for quite a while, having met when we were about 14 or so. We got on ok, but not really good friends or anything.

But that fateful night I saw her, it was like someone had turned on the light or something, and I remember thinking ‘Wow, this girl is amazing’. As a result of this, I decided to try and spend more time with her to get to know her better, and we became good friends. There was however one problem. She was into another guy, and to complicate matters further, he was into another girl. So while I was desperate for here attention, she was desperate for a friend of mine’s attention and he was about to be dating another girl.

I kept on with this cat and mouse relationship for a while until I realized that this was a futile exercise and I was only hurting myself. I decided to break the friendship so that I could spend some time away from her. She hadn’t done anything wrong but I needed to change my thinking pattern and come to terms with the fact that this dream I had of dating her wasn’t going to happen.

Anyway as I’m sure you can tell I was really into Alice, in fact I would say I was probably in love with her, which was crazy because I kept on telling myself that I didn’t want a girlfriend and that things weren’t going to work out. I spent about 3 months away from Alice, and eventually we went back to being friends. Life happened and we drifted apart…

A few months later I decided to have a chat with Alice about everything. At this stage the guy she had been into had his girlfriend and in fact is still dating her… I took Alice out for coffee and said “You’re not an idiot. You know I had a major crush on you, and I still think you’re an awesome girl. I’m putting the ball in your court, and if you want to be friends and hang out, it’s up to you. I’m not going force the issue; I want it to come from you…”

My thinking was that I didn’t want to force myself on her, and I wanted a friendship to come from both sides, so she should make the first move. Unfortunately for me that plan didn’t really work, because she never made a move. We continued to see each other in passing but not on a regular basis. That was about 2 years ago…

About 6 months after that we started seeing each other again on a more regular basis, and things were good, no problems. That continued for a while and life continued to happen. We stopped seeing each other regularly and said hello and whatever in passing…

Then about 9 months ago we saw each other at a party and ended up spending some time talking and had a good time. I thought nothing of it, until a few weeks later when we ended up chilling together at a party again, chatting and getting on really well. I figured maybe we were just enjoying each other’s company, and pushed it out of my mind.

This type of thing continued to happen and at every party we saw each other we ended up chatting and things were good, this brings us to last night…

So I’m at this do, and I was sort of avoiding her because I wasn’t sure what to do. I said hello and she seemed amped for a chat but I sort of ducked so I could think a little, but as it always seems, we ended up chatting and having a great time. Eventually I left and said goodbye, and there was an awkward moment where it was like ‘do we hug, kiss what?’

Then I left, but it’s still playing on my mind. I don’t if it’s one of those things that you have with your first real crush, or if there’s something there. I keep on coming back to Alice, no matter what happens. I feel like Ted from How I Met Your Mother, where Alice is Robin.

Anyway, what do you guys think? I’m not sure, especially bearing in mind what I said about my mom and Amy yesterday.

At this point I’d like to point out that Alice hasn’t had a boyfriend since the first time I ‘saw’ her three years ago…