Funny Stories Part 1

I know there are two blogs today, but this one is just for fun.

I really do think that laughter is an extremely effective way to heal wounds, as well as to just raise your morale. And the truth is that I love laughing. Here are some stories that I find / found rather amusing. All the names are made up, so don't feel bad if one of the stories is about you, no one will know. Also, the humor may in some places be a little dodge and will probably be quite dry so if you don't get it don't worry it's just my sense of humor.

Also, all of these are completely true.


Losing Hair Down South

About 2 years ago a friend of mine, we'll call him Adam, was given a male g-string as a joke for Christmas, by two brothers named Cain and Abel. The following day Cain and Abel were having a braai at their house for friends and family and Adam was invited around. Unfortunately Adam didn't have transport so he had to walk from his house to Cain and Abel's place, which was about a 2km walk. Adam didn't mind, but there was however one drawback. That morning Adam had opened his draw to find that all of his underpants were dirty and in the wash. Deciding not to go commando, he took a chance and wore his new g-string.

Adam walked to Cain and Abel's house, and arrived shortly before lunch where there were about 30 people over for the annual braai. He was feeling quite uncomfortable in the new g-string and after much thought he decided he needed to take it off and wanted to do it ASAP. Just as everyone was gathering to pray, Adam slipped out and went into Cain's room to change his uncomfortable garment. He chose Cain's room because from the window he could see over the garden and could see when the prayer was finished and the coast would be clear for him to slip back in for lunch.

Unfortunately for Adam, he has a rather hairy bottom and was in a rush. Instead of taking his time, he ran into Cain's room, pulled down his pants and just ripped the g-string off.

In the garden the guests were about to start praying when they heard an almighty scream from Cain's room as Adam not only pulled his g-string off, but also about 50% of the hairs on his ass. In Adam's walk from his house the g-string had gotten tangled in his 'bum fluff' and upon removal had taken all the caught hair along. All 30 people heard the cry and then found Adam in a large amount of pain, refusing to sit down for the rest of the day. Good times.


Rugby and the Beach

One Sunday morning we decided to go down to Clifton 4th beach and spend the day in the awesome weather. I don't really like the beach, but I figured if all my friends would be there, we'd have a great time, and as long as I didn't get sunburnt I'd be fine. We arrived and set ourselves up in a great spot with umbrellas and towels and the whole deal.

While there, Cain [yes, the same Cain, Abel and Adam] pulled out a mini rubgy ball and tried to get us to play touch rugby. We weren't keen and said later, not actually intending out honouring our promise. Later during the day, around 3pm, we eventually gave into Cain's nagging and played a little touch rugby. Problem was that the ball was quite small and quite a few of the guys were avid rubgy players and fans. As a result, during kicking the ball always went much further than was intended.

After getting shouted at a few times for our ball landing on people's lunch, ice cream or just their heads we decided to just throw the ball around instead of kicking and everything else. Everyone was having a good time, and the ball was hitting people a lot less.

About 5 minutes after we started throwing the ball around but it was still going astray too often for Abel's liking and he and Cain were getting quite angry with the offending parties when the ball did escape the field of play. A few minutes into our new found game two gay gentlemen came walking down the beach holding hands, and walked through our circle. At this stage Adam had the ball, and he threw it to Cain, but unfortunately it slipped in his hand and accidentally hit one of the gay gentlemen on the back of the head.

With the frustration becoming unbearable, Cain shouted at the top of his voice "Adam you fag!"

Everyone suddenly realised what he'd just said and packed out laughing. The gay gentleman was not very impressed and Cain not being the sharpest chopstick in the draw, had no idea what was going on. It took Abel several attempts and a good 5 minutes to explain to the gay gentlemen that no one is anti homosexual and that it was an accident. Fun was had by all. Mostly.


Group Hug and Bleeding

This one happened the other day. You may remember that a few days ago I put up a post which mentioned a website for confessions called Group Hug. Since then all of my friends have been on and had a read for fun. The other night we were talking about the various confessions we'd seen and someone spoke about on where a guy said he has a massive penis [he said diameter, but I think he meant a girth of 6.5 inches which is very big], and that a lot of women find it too big.

It was fairly late and as with many people my friend, we'll call him Jeremy, probably wasn't thinking normally. Jeremy said "Wow, he'd probably have to start every pickup line with 'Are you open to bleeding?'"

I cried. I couldn't believe Jeremy had just said that. I was like rofl. Good times.




Anyway, I'll post more later.