Playing Second Fiddle

Do you ever get the feeling that you're just not good enough? Like you're doing your thing as best you can but in a specific aspect you're just not up to par? I do.

I'll be honest with you, I feel inferior when it comes to any aspect of romantic relationships. I think I'm a great guy who has a lot to offer the people around me but when it comes to relationships of a romantic nature I don't believe what I have to give is worth anything. And it bothers me, more than I wish it did.

One of my greatest friends, Justin, has a way with women. He knows how they work, he knows how to communicate with them and he is so confident it amazes me. When I look at how he carries himself, how he speaks and reacts I know I could never do that.

Now, before people start building a story in their minds let me be clear, there is no girl I am currently trying to hook up with. There is no conflict of interest, I'm just trying to improve myself.

But it seems to me that relationships of a romantic nature are built in a specific way, they are approached in a specific way and if they are not approached in that specific manner they don't go anywhere. And the truth is that I don't fully understand how to build these types of relationships.

And the parts that I do understand feel wrong. I just can't do 'those' things. Example, I was talking to another friend of mine, Matt and I said I could never tell a girl I love her while flirting with her. He said "Take for example, a girl says 'my favorite band is Lamb of God' and then I could respond 'I think I love you'"

While I understand the premise for this response, I just can't do that. It feels wrong. I don't have a reason why, it just feels wrong, almost deceptive.

But I'm scared that if I don't do these things I won't ever be able to approach a relationship in the correct manner, and will therefore never be able to have any sort of romantic relationship.

I should point out at this stage that I have never had a girlfriend, and don't regret that at all. Perhaps I am overly conservative, or maybe I just take life to seriously but on some level I feel that not doing things I don't feel comfortable with will be a good thing in the end. I don't know. Maybe I'm just destined to be alone or something else much less terrible than it sounds.

So, what do you think? Am I just being a coward? Should I just do some of the things I feel uncomfortable with? Or am I making the right decision but applying my 'trade' in the wrong way? Or am I just over thinking this whole thing?

What are your experiences with romantic relationships and approaching them?