Wet Pants

For those of you who may not know, last week I received a call from the airport letting me know that after my second interview I had been successful in my job application, and am now a medical checkup and an NIA background check away from signing a contract to start training and ultimately become an Air Traffic Controller.

This is good news because it gives me an international qualification, a career and the ability to earn some decent cash, which I think will be great. There is however one major problem. I am piss scared.

Not scared about doing the work, but about the training. You see, I'm an analyst. I analyse everything around me all the time. I take in as much information as possible and then come to viable conclusions at every step. It's what keeps me alive, but in this case I have a problem. I haven't been able to get much information.

All I know is that I am going to training in Joburg for about 12 weeks and the training is supposed to start on the 23 of February. I don't know anything else and it really worries and scares me.

So what else do I need to know? Well, will I have Internet? Where will I be staying? How often will I be able to do washing? Will I get to go to the shops or do I need to take 3 months of deodorant? Will I need to cook for myself? Will I be sharing a room?

These are the questions I want answers to and I haven't been able to find anything out. It scares me because I don't know how to prepare.

Fear is a strange thing. Theoretically we should only fear things that have an immediate negative threat on our lives, and yet we fear things that have almost no lasting impact on our lives. In this case I know everything will work out irrespective of how it all goes, and I will come out on the other end without any lasting impact. The worst thing that can happen is that I will have to wear a dirty pair of jeans.

And yet this keeps me awake at night. I guess it comes down to what you value the most, and in my life I clearly value information more than I value my own physical safety, literally. I think that our way of thinking has evolved to such an extent that we don't even consider our physical needs. Or at least I don't.

Is this the right approach? I'm not sure, but it sure seems to be an appropriate one.

So should we be changing? I don't know but I'm unlikely to before the end of this month. So for now I will continue my quest for information and not rest until I have more, in every aspect of my life not only this one.