Every family in the world is a little messed up. Granted, some more than others but they all have their vices. Up until a little less than 2 years ago, my family’s little secret was that I suffered from depression.
It started when I was 11 years old, and continued on and off untreated until I was in Matric. My grandfather and my mom both have / had a hereditary disease where their brain produces too little serotonin, causing them not to experience as much ‘happiness’ as the average person. As a result a person suffering from this disease is prone to depression.
While I have never been officially diagnosed with the above disease (I can’t remember its name) the psychologist I occasionally go to suspects that I may have this particular condition.
Now depression doesn’t have to be a major problem because you can easily receive treatment, and your life can in fact continue as normal. While I have been in very low lows during my depression it isn’t a death sentence, and I choose to live my life and enjoy it.
But things got quite a lot more complicated in about March last year when my father told the family he wants to become a woman. At this point in time he/she has changed his/her name from Peter to Cate, and is about to start living as a woman full time, which is quite a difficult thing to go through.
A sex change is like divorce, death, remarriage and disappointment as a result of failure all rolled into one. It’s an extremely overwhelming experience, which I am still trying to work out.
At first I didn’t know what to say or how to deal with it but as I started thinking about it more and more it became more real to me. After that I went through a period of being extremely angry, and not wanting to be part of the family, and almost moving out of the house because I was permanently full of rage, which is not a healthy thing.
Long story short, I got to a point where I was filling a father role for my brother and a supportive role for my mom, and I can’t do that because it’s not my job. We sat down as a family with a psychologist and I expressed my feelings and asked my questions, but nothing happened.
At this point I’m still pretty disappointed because nothing has come of my efforts to ‘move forward’ through the process, and I’ve become extremely apathetic toward it simply because I feel that I’ve done my part but no one will get off their f**king asses and do theirs.
Thing are not going well, but I actually don’t care. These things happen in life and I’ve chosen to live my life proactively rather than reactively. I could run around doing everything I feel I should but that would do no one any good, and it would damage me. So I chose to live my life the way I believe to be right, and I am just going to wait for everyone else to catch up…
I know that this post will probably cause much scandal in my family, because almost all of the communication that happens in my extended family is through gossip, and this will keep them going for quite a few weekends but I actually don’t care. It is part of the reason I don’t talk to them much. They don’t really see further than making themselves feel better.
“Why on earth are you posting this and not telling the relevant parties?” you may be asking. Well, to be honest I feel like I’m right. I’ve been very outspoken in the past about these issues, and no one is doing anything about it, so I feel nothing about posing them online.
If you thought I was perfect, don’t worry I’m not. I may be fairly clever, but I get depressed quite often and my father wears high heels and skirts. Not much fun I promise.
5 minutes after typing…
I’ve just read this blog again and it’s pretty angry, but I’m going to post it anyway. It’s an emotional blog, and that’s fine. I’ll post about it again with more perspective in the future, when I’m not worked up.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
New Adventures 30th - 6th
It's Thursday, which means New Adventures day, so have a fun read.
Friday
Friday was a pretty mellow day. I spent the morning practicing my “Circle of Fifths” theory, just because it has been a while since I looked at it for real. I downloaded a sweet diagram with all the majors and minors in pretty colours from Wikipedia, and then just made my own notes. It wasn’t anything hardcore but a necessary evil and actually quite fun at that.
Went to pick my brother up and had to sit in traffic on the way back, which sucks but I guess that’s what happens on the M5 at lunch time on a Friday. After that I watched a whole bunch of episodes of ‘The Simpsons’ with Jon (my brother) and that was about it.
Friday evening was mellow too; I went over to Gareth’s house and worked on the acoustic set for Take the State with Richard and Danny. Yes, there is another Richard in the band, but to avoid confusion we call him Richard, and they call me Rick. Also, he is as awesome as I am. (that’s a joke, but he is a great guy)
Gareth and I were going to head through to Gandalf’s after the practice, but we only finished at around midnight, and it would have taken about 30mins to get there, so we decided to give it a miss.
Saturday
Saturday was AWESOME. Take the State had the first in what we all hope will be many photo shoots at Dylan’s house, and it was great. I think a lot of the pictures are going to come out looking really great, and fun was had by all. We even took some cool pictures of me, so I’ll put a bunch of them up, with the band and with me. I reckon the pictures of me on the ladder are going to be cool.
Saturday evening was great. Richard, Gareth, Justin and I went to a metal pub called Eye Of Horus. It was great. Most times when we go out it kind of sucks because it’s horrible music in a hole of a place paying way too much for drinks. But this place was great, the drinks were really well priced (R15 for Jack and lime is not bad), the music was awesome (metal of all shapes and sizes) and it wasn’t a hole at all. It had sweet couches and benches and stuff all over the place, with a fire in one corner, and the place was actually air conditioned, which was very surprising. We all decided to go through to watch some football, because it’ll be awesome.
Another great thing about the place is that it’s actually a pub, so they serve food. It opens at 12h00, and you can order food for lunch and whatever, good times. And, the best part is that there are metal bands that play every now and then and the sound seems pretty decent so we’re going to pull through for a gig soon.
So after having a great photo shoot and then finding the best pub in Cape Town, I got home and checked the final score of the games and found that my Fantasy Football team had done above average again, which was sweet.I already knew that Chelsea had won 5 – 0 which was great, but I didn’ know how my team was going to do, but it was a good week. All in all an absolutely awesome day.
Monday
I decided to take van Persie out of my Fantasy Football team because he’s been suspended after his red card, and made an absolutely brilliant acquisition in Dimitar Berbatov. I actually thought Berbatov was a lot more, which is why I hadn’t gotten him before, but it turns out that he and van Persie were the same price.
I was waiting for the final game in the game week to find out how I would do, as I was in second place in the league of people who started in game week 9, only 2 points behind the leader. If Newcastle kept a clean sheet, I would score 6 points off of Shea Given which would push me into first place, and I am delighted to say that the best possible scenario happened. I am now in first place in my game starting league. Good times.
Tuesday
Tuesday wasn’t a great one. My car was scheduled to go in for repairs, but Gareth had asked me to drive him and a few others to the Take The State acoustic gig that evening, so I organized for my car to go in a few days later.
The gig was at Zula bar, and it wasn’t a great one. It didn’t quite click, it wasn’t a bad gig, it just wasn’t great. The evening got worse when I got home to discover that Chelsea had lost 3 – 1 to Roma. Not fun.
Wednesday
My mom got back from holiday on Tuesday night, but because I was at the gig, I didn’t see her before Wednesday morning. She had a great time away and had some interesting things to say about a prophecy she had. Possibly lots of changes in the future, but I’ll be talking about that later. As well as a few other things…
Last night I headed out to Gareth’s house to watch some football, which was good fun, although there were some surprising results, like Real Madrid not winning their game etc. Good evening, until Gareth accidentally knocked a jar of coffee over, and it shattered on the floor. Not fun, because we had to clean up the glass on the floor, and then throw an entire jar of coffee away…
Friday
Friday was a pretty mellow day. I spent the morning practicing my “Circle of Fifths” theory, just because it has been a while since I looked at it for real. I downloaded a sweet diagram with all the majors and minors in pretty colours from Wikipedia, and then just made my own notes. It wasn’t anything hardcore but a necessary evil and actually quite fun at that.
Went to pick my brother up and had to sit in traffic on the way back, which sucks but I guess that’s what happens on the M5 at lunch time on a Friday. After that I watched a whole bunch of episodes of ‘The Simpsons’ with Jon (my brother) and that was about it.
Friday evening was mellow too; I went over to Gareth’s house and worked on the acoustic set for Take the State with Richard and Danny. Yes, there is another Richard in the band, but to avoid confusion we call him Richard, and they call me Rick. Also, he is as awesome as I am. (that’s a joke, but he is a great guy)
Gareth and I were going to head through to Gandalf’s after the practice, but we only finished at around midnight, and it would have taken about 30mins to get there, so we decided to give it a miss.
Saturday
Saturday was AWESOME. Take the State had the first in what we all hope will be many photo shoots at Dylan’s house, and it was great. I think a lot of the pictures are going to come out looking really great, and fun was had by all. We even took some cool pictures of me, so I’ll put a bunch of them up, with the band and with me. I reckon the pictures of me on the ladder are going to be cool.
Saturday evening was great. Richard, Gareth, Justin and I went to a metal pub called Eye Of Horus. It was great. Most times when we go out it kind of sucks because it’s horrible music in a hole of a place paying way too much for drinks. But this place was great, the drinks were really well priced (R15 for Jack and lime is not bad), the music was awesome (metal of all shapes and sizes) and it wasn’t a hole at all. It had sweet couches and benches and stuff all over the place, with a fire in one corner, and the place was actually air conditioned, which was very surprising. We all decided to go through to watch some football, because it’ll be awesome.
Another great thing about the place is that it’s actually a pub, so they serve food. It opens at 12h00, and you can order food for lunch and whatever, good times. And, the best part is that there are metal bands that play every now and then and the sound seems pretty decent so we’re going to pull through for a gig soon.
So after having a great photo shoot and then finding the best pub in Cape Town, I got home and checked the final score of the games and found that my Fantasy Football team had done above average again, which was sweet.I already knew that Chelsea had won 5 – 0 which was great, but I didn’ know how my team was going to do, but it was a good week. All in all an absolutely awesome day.
Monday
I decided to take van Persie out of my Fantasy Football team because he’s been suspended after his red card, and made an absolutely brilliant acquisition in Dimitar Berbatov. I actually thought Berbatov was a lot more, which is why I hadn’t gotten him before, but it turns out that he and van Persie were the same price.
I was waiting for the final game in the game week to find out how I would do, as I was in second place in the league of people who started in game week 9, only 2 points behind the leader. If Newcastle kept a clean sheet, I would score 6 points off of Shea Given which would push me into first place, and I am delighted to say that the best possible scenario happened. I am now in first place in my game starting league. Good times.
Tuesday
Tuesday wasn’t a great one. My car was scheduled to go in for repairs, but Gareth had asked me to drive him and a few others to the Take The State acoustic gig that evening, so I organized for my car to go in a few days later.
The gig was at Zula bar, and it wasn’t a great one. It didn’t quite click, it wasn’t a bad gig, it just wasn’t great. The evening got worse when I got home to discover that Chelsea had lost 3 – 1 to Roma. Not fun.
Wednesday
My mom got back from holiday on Tuesday night, but because I was at the gig, I didn’t see her before Wednesday morning. She had a great time away and had some interesting things to say about a prophecy she had. Possibly lots of changes in the future, but I’ll be talking about that later. As well as a few other things…
Last night I headed out to Gareth’s house to watch some football, which was good fun, although there were some surprising results, like Real Madrid not winning their game etc. Good evening, until Gareth accidentally knocked a jar of coffee over, and it shattered on the floor. Not fun, because we had to clean up the glass on the floor, and then throw an entire jar of coffee away…
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
On Monday evening I was chatting to one of my best friends, Matt Slade, and he was trying to convince me to start playing dota with him. If you don’t know what dota is wiki it, because if I start playing I’ll explain it fully in a blog…
Anyway, so Matt said that one of the reasons he thought I’d enjoy playing dota is because there are so many different aspects to the game, as well as so many different objects, and they all make a difference, which is very appealing to me…
When I get into something (like say sound engineer, or football) what I do is obsess about it day and night for two or three weeks. I read everything I can about the topic in question, I think about it, I write about it, I talk about it, and then I read about it more. When I’m comfortable with my assessments, I start to ask people about it, asking if my assessments are correct, what their opinions are, and why they came to that conclusion.
Then I go back and read more, write more, read more, think more and read more. Once I have as much information as I can get, I memorize most of it, and then think about it. If I forget anything I usually read up about it again, and then write about it again. I obsess. When I can do what I set out to do, or I think I can, or I just get bored, I move on to another topic to obsess about. That’s how I live my life.
Here’s an example: When I was in grade 11, I had to do a science project where we had to chose a topic, and teach the class for a 45min period about the chosen topic. The topic had to be science related, and had to exist in day to day life. Most of the other students in the class chose things like “How toothpaste is made” and spoke about the chemistry, and a few of the guys chose nuclear bombs and whatever, but not me.
No, at the time I was interested in physics and space and decided to do my project on black holes, until I read in a book that time stops inside a black hole. Then I changed my mind, and started reading about time. I obsessed about the topic of time, and I read a book by Stephen Hawking called “A Brief History of Time”, but clearly it was written for physics professors and I didn’t understand a lot of it, so I started reading second and third year physics books, but I didn’t understand a lot of the math behind it, so I started reading first year math textbooks and that type of thing. For three weeks I did pretty much no homework and didn’t sleep for more than 4 hours a night because I just sat reading.
I read lots of physics theorems, as well as math theorems and papers as to how various elements of gravity and velocity effect time. I loved it, and when it came to the presentation I had a very difficult job on my hands, because I had to explain a topic to a group of people, and only my science teacher understood most of it, which of course was very frustrating.
But I enjoyed it. After the presentation she asked me if I would rather do the presentation again because I was going to lose marks because no one in the class could ask questions because they didn’t understand the material (apparently if students ask questions it is a result of understanding the topic and wanting to learn more, but because no one understood my presentation no one asked questions, and that meant that I hadn’t explained well enough) but I was too lazy so I just said, “Give me a low mark it’s ok”. Then she complained to me and my parents because I had done very well but I was still failing maths (I passed in the end, but only got like 65% for it or something).
Anyway, after the awful mark, I stopped, because I could do it. Now I don’t think about time at all.
Point of this is that I obsess, and I am particularly obsessed with sound engineering. Here’s my list of gear I’d like to start off my mixing room, it’d grow but here’s the starting list. If you don’t know what anything is, ask me. I can tell you anything about any of the below pieces of gear.
Console
> SSL 72 Channel Duality
Channel Strips
> 8 x Neve 8801s – used for portability, consistency and convenience
Compression
> 2 x 1176-2 stereo 1176
> 2 x 2-LA-2 stereo LA-2A
> 1 x Pendulum ES8
> 1 x Tubetech CL2A
> 2 x dbx 160 XT
> 1 x Manley Variable Mu
> 5 x Stereo Empirical Labs Distressors
> 1 x SSL G Series Comp
EQ
> 1 x Manley Massive Passive Stereo EQ
> 2 x Manley Enhanced Pultec EQP-1A
> 2 x API 550B
> 1 x Yamaha Q2031B
Effects
> 6 x TC Electronics D.Two
> 2 x Lexicon M300
> 2 x Lexicon PCM90
> 2 x EMT140 Plates
> 2 x Fulltone Tube-Tape Echo
Mics
> 8 x Neumann U87
> 2 x Neumann M149
> 2 x Neumann M150
> 4 x Neumann KM184
> 8 x Rode NT55
> 8 x Shure SM57
> 8 x Sennheiser MD421 II
> 2 x Crowley & Tripp El Diablo
> 2 x Yamaha Subkick
> 2 x Audio Technica 4033a
> 1 x Shure SM7B
> 2 x Royer R122
> 1 x Royer SF24
Recorders
> Studer A820 2 Track
> Tascam DV-RA 1000
Anyway, so Matt said that one of the reasons he thought I’d enjoy playing dota is because there are so many different aspects to the game, as well as so many different objects, and they all make a difference, which is very appealing to me…
When I get into something (like say sound engineer, or football) what I do is obsess about it day and night for two or three weeks. I read everything I can about the topic in question, I think about it, I write about it, I talk about it, and then I read about it more. When I’m comfortable with my assessments, I start to ask people about it, asking if my assessments are correct, what their opinions are, and why they came to that conclusion.
Then I go back and read more, write more, read more, think more and read more. Once I have as much information as I can get, I memorize most of it, and then think about it. If I forget anything I usually read up about it again, and then write about it again. I obsess. When I can do what I set out to do, or I think I can, or I just get bored, I move on to another topic to obsess about. That’s how I live my life.
Here’s an example: When I was in grade 11, I had to do a science project where we had to chose a topic, and teach the class for a 45min period about the chosen topic. The topic had to be science related, and had to exist in day to day life. Most of the other students in the class chose things like “How toothpaste is made” and spoke about the chemistry, and a few of the guys chose nuclear bombs and whatever, but not me.
No, at the time I was interested in physics and space and decided to do my project on black holes, until I read in a book that time stops inside a black hole. Then I changed my mind, and started reading about time. I obsessed about the topic of time, and I read a book by Stephen Hawking called “A Brief History of Time”, but clearly it was written for physics professors and I didn’t understand a lot of it, so I started reading second and third year physics books, but I didn’t understand a lot of the math behind it, so I started reading first year math textbooks and that type of thing. For three weeks I did pretty much no homework and didn’t sleep for more than 4 hours a night because I just sat reading.
I read lots of physics theorems, as well as math theorems and papers as to how various elements of gravity and velocity effect time. I loved it, and when it came to the presentation I had a very difficult job on my hands, because I had to explain a topic to a group of people, and only my science teacher understood most of it, which of course was very frustrating.
But I enjoyed it. After the presentation she asked me if I would rather do the presentation again because I was going to lose marks because no one in the class could ask questions because they didn’t understand the material (apparently if students ask questions it is a result of understanding the topic and wanting to learn more, but because no one understood my presentation no one asked questions, and that meant that I hadn’t explained well enough) but I was too lazy so I just said, “Give me a low mark it’s ok”. Then she complained to me and my parents because I had done very well but I was still failing maths (I passed in the end, but only got like 65% for it or something).
Anyway, after the awful mark, I stopped, because I could do it. Now I don’t think about time at all.
Point of this is that I obsess, and I am particularly obsessed with sound engineering. Here’s my list of gear I’d like to start off my mixing room, it’d grow but here’s the starting list. If you don’t know what anything is, ask me. I can tell you anything about any of the below pieces of gear.
Console
> SSL 72 Channel Duality
Channel Strips
> 8 x Neve 8801s – used for portability, consistency and convenience
Compression
> 2 x 1176-2 stereo 1176
> 2 x 2-LA-2 stereo LA-2A
> 1 x Pendulum ES8
> 1 x Tubetech CL2A
> 2 x dbx 160 XT
> 1 x Manley Variable Mu
> 5 x Stereo Empirical Labs Distressors
> 1 x SSL G Series Comp
EQ
> 1 x Manley Massive Passive Stereo EQ
> 2 x Manley Enhanced Pultec EQP-1A
> 2 x API 550B
> 1 x Yamaha Q2031B
Effects
> 6 x TC Electronics D.Two
> 2 x Lexicon M300
> 2 x Lexicon PCM90
> 2 x EMT140 Plates
> 2 x Fulltone Tube-Tape Echo
Mics
> 8 x Neumann U87
> 2 x Neumann M149
> 2 x Neumann M150
> 4 x Neumann KM184
> 8 x Rode NT55
> 8 x Shure SM57
> 8 x Sennheiser MD421 II
> 2 x Crowley & Tripp El Diablo
> 2 x Yamaha Subkick
> 2 x Audio Technica 4033a
> 1 x Shure SM7B
> 2 x Royer R122
> 1 x Royer SF24
Recorders
> Studer A820 2 Track
> Tascam DV-RA 1000
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Happiness Continued
Yesterday I spoke about happiness and listed a whole pile of thing I’d really like to accomplish in the future, but they’re pretty diverse and intense, like writing a full piece for a philharmonic orchestra (I’d actually like to write a Requiem) and recording so many different bands across extremely varied genres. A while ago I started getting really bummed out because I thought that I’d never be able to do all the things I wanted to do in 70 years (or however long it is that the average human lives) and I started feeling like I had been dreaming too big.
Then something occurred to me: The New Jerusalem (commonly referred to as Heaven). If I’m going to the New Jerusalem after I die, why not just carry on my dreams and works there? A lot of people believe that Heaven is a nice place where we just sit on clouds and do mostly nothing, but I don’t believe that’s true.
If you look at the first two chapters in the Bible, they describe creation and the Garden of Eden as being a place where man lives in perfect harmony with YHVH, and at the same time he works. From what I’ve read and heard from scholars, the reason we no longer live like that is two fold: First, sin (please not the singular and not the plural, because there is a massive difference) and second the war which is raging in the second heaven.
In case you don’t know, there are three heavens: First heaven, which is where we reside, second heaven is what is commonly referred to as the ‘Spiritual Realm’ and the third heaven, which is often mistakenly called Heaven, and is also the residing place of YHVH.
Now, the second heaven is where demons reside, along with Lucifer / Satan and demons are allowed certain rights such as tempting people, oppression and that type of thing. As a result of their influence in our lives, as well as the tension which exists in day to day life as a result of second heaven activities, we are separated from YHVH.
If we look at the last two chapters of the Bible (Revelation 21 and 22), John describes the New Jerusalem as a city, which is clearly NOT found in the third heaven as it is not in the Throne Room, and it is remarkably similar to Eden in many ways.
So to me it makes sense that if Eden was what YHVH initially wanted for us, then why wouldn’t the New Jerusalem be the same in its general layout? This theorem of course helps me a lot because instead of having a hectic time limit (70 years) to do all the things I want to, I don’t have any time limit and I can do everything I want to the best of my ability partially on earth and mostly in The New Jerusalem.
When you think about it that way, meaning that we will spend most of our time in eternity, it seems silly to put so much emphasis on earth. So I have stopped worrying about my life on earth, and now do my best to enjoy my life, to do YHVH’s will, and to improve myself every day, and become more like Y’shua / Jesus daily.
Now, here are some of the things I’d like to do in my life (from here on in it’s pretty boring reading…):
BANDS I’D LIKE TO ENGINEER/MIX/PRODUCE
> Lamb Of God
> As I Lay Dying
> In Flames
> Killswitch Engage
> Slipknot (their new album is actually metal)
> Shadow’s Fall
> Threat Signal
> Divine Heresy
> Dream Theater
> Porcupine Tree
> Planet X
> Devil’s Slingshot
> Joe Satriani
> Paul Gilbert
> Coldplay
> Foo Fighters
> Take The State
> London Philharmonic Orchestra
MUSIC I’D LIKE TO WRITE/RECORD/PRODUCE
> A Requiem [an operatic orchestral piece written Latin for funerals, lasting approx. 45mins, sometimes a little longer]
> A rock album
> A big band jazz album [probably more than one of these]
> A thrash metal album [probably more than one of these]
> A progressive rock / metal album
> A blues album
THINGS I’D LIKE TO OWN
> My house in a great neighborhood
> My mixing room in the CBD [More on this tomorrow]
> A farm about 2 hours out of CT, to go away for weekends
THINGS I’D LIKE TO WORK OUT
> Quantum Mechanics specifies that for many of the physics truths that we rely on in day to day living (such as Relativity) to be true, there have to be more than 4 dimensions, and I suspect that if we take that truth to a deeper level, we will find that not only does anti-matter work as a balancing force in dimensions we don’t currently reside in, it will also explain spirituality.
> Time is not a constant, and is in fact able to be manipulated, but if it can be slowed down as well as sped up, then is it really what’s changing? We know that time is perpetual but can we use the fact that it is moldable as well as never ceasing to our benefit? And if so how? I have a few ideas…
> I have a few others, but they’re a little too complicated to summarize like I did with the others…
Then something occurred to me: The New Jerusalem (commonly referred to as Heaven). If I’m going to the New Jerusalem after I die, why not just carry on my dreams and works there? A lot of people believe that Heaven is a nice place where we just sit on clouds and do mostly nothing, but I don’t believe that’s true.
If you look at the first two chapters in the Bible, they describe creation and the Garden of Eden as being a place where man lives in perfect harmony with YHVH, and at the same time he works. From what I’ve read and heard from scholars, the reason we no longer live like that is two fold: First, sin (please not the singular and not the plural, because there is a massive difference) and second the war which is raging in the second heaven.
In case you don’t know, there are three heavens: First heaven, which is where we reside, second heaven is what is commonly referred to as the ‘Spiritual Realm’ and the third heaven, which is often mistakenly called Heaven, and is also the residing place of YHVH.
Now, the second heaven is where demons reside, along with Lucifer / Satan and demons are allowed certain rights such as tempting people, oppression and that type of thing. As a result of their influence in our lives, as well as the tension which exists in day to day life as a result of second heaven activities, we are separated from YHVH.
If we look at the last two chapters of the Bible (Revelation 21 and 22), John describes the New Jerusalem as a city, which is clearly NOT found in the third heaven as it is not in the Throne Room, and it is remarkably similar to Eden in many ways.
So to me it makes sense that if Eden was what YHVH initially wanted for us, then why wouldn’t the New Jerusalem be the same in its general layout? This theorem of course helps me a lot because instead of having a hectic time limit (70 years) to do all the things I want to, I don’t have any time limit and I can do everything I want to the best of my ability partially on earth and mostly in The New Jerusalem.
When you think about it that way, meaning that we will spend most of our time in eternity, it seems silly to put so much emphasis on earth. So I have stopped worrying about my life on earth, and now do my best to enjoy my life, to do YHVH’s will, and to improve myself every day, and become more like Y’shua / Jesus daily.
Now, here are some of the things I’d like to do in my life (from here on in it’s pretty boring reading…):
BANDS I’D LIKE TO ENGINEER/MIX/PRODUCE
> Lamb Of God
> As I Lay Dying
> In Flames
> Killswitch Engage
> Slipknot (their new album is actually metal)
> Shadow’s Fall
> Threat Signal
> Divine Heresy
> Dream Theater
> Porcupine Tree
> Planet X
> Devil’s Slingshot
> Joe Satriani
> Paul Gilbert
> Coldplay
> Foo Fighters
> Take The State
> London Philharmonic Orchestra
MUSIC I’D LIKE TO WRITE/RECORD/PRODUCE
> A Requiem [an operatic orchestral piece written Latin for funerals, lasting approx. 45mins, sometimes a little longer]
> A rock album
> A big band jazz album [probably more than one of these]
> A thrash metal album [probably more than one of these]
> A progressive rock / metal album
> A blues album
THINGS I’D LIKE TO OWN
> My house in a great neighborhood
> My mixing room in the CBD [More on this tomorrow]
> A farm about 2 hours out of CT, to go away for weekends
THINGS I’D LIKE TO WORK OUT
> Quantum Mechanics specifies that for many of the physics truths that we rely on in day to day living (such as Relativity) to be true, there have to be more than 4 dimensions, and I suspect that if we take that truth to a deeper level, we will find that not only does anti-matter work as a balancing force in dimensions we don’t currently reside in, it will also explain spirituality.
> Time is not a constant, and is in fact able to be manipulated, but if it can be slowed down as well as sped up, then is it really what’s changing? We know that time is perpetual but can we use the fact that it is moldable as well as never ceasing to our benefit? And if so how? I have a few ideas…
> I have a few others, but they’re a little too complicated to summarize like I did with the others…
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Ingredient To Happiness
For those of you who don’t watch ‘How I Met Your Mother’ there’s a character named Barney who is a legend. In the story Barney is somewhat of an enigma, and he is known as being a bit of a womanizer.
In one of the episodes he meets an ex girlfriend, who now has a son, and everyone thinks that he is unhappy because he could have been a dad, but he corrects everyone saying he is very happy because his life consists of cigars, suits, money and one night stands. I’m not saying that these four things are the ingredients to happiness, but for Barney they were.
So let’s deal with the thought provoking part of this blog first. What is happiness? I suppose happiness is actually contentment, because wherever one is found, so is the other. Here’s how I see it: certain things in life fall into the category of ‘Eternal Struggles’, these things include financial contentment, success, happiness as well as a few other things I can’t thing of right now. Here’s a scenario from a book entitled “The Richest Man in Babylon” by George Clason.
The Richest Man in Babylon assembles a bunch of people from all walks of life, beggars, merchants and princes, and asks all of them to stand if anyone has extra money lying around to spend. You assume that the beggar would stay seated, along with a few of the merchants and you expect that the princes would immediately stand. But this is not the case, and you find out that not a single person stands. The Richest Man then makes the point that the key to having money is spending less than you earn, and that it has nothing to do with how much money you may or may not have (beggar versus prince).
So if it has nothing to do with your current situation then it must be a state of mind, or rather a way of thinking. The truth is that no amounts of money will ever ensure that you don’t need more money, because it’s very easy to spend money irrespective of how much there is. And when your money runs out, you’ll want more.
In the same manner, happiness has nothing to do with your situation but rather a state of mind, and so does success, as well as my striving to be the best. I guess I just need to become content with the fact that as long as I’m doing my best, I am the best.
So are you waiting for happiness, or are you content to let it evolve? Are you constantly broke, or are you learning how to be mostly fine all the time? These are questions that can’t be answered overnight simply because the answers need to be experienced and lived rather than spoken and debated, but the journey is part of the destination…
Now that we’ve dealt with the more serious part, here’s the more fun part. Everyone has a picture of themselves in the future, as a happy person. And that picture always has specific elements in it that you assume would make you happy. Now my question is what are those elements, and how are you going to get them into your life?
For me those elements are as follows:
> Good friends
> Financial independence
> YHVH / studying the Word
> Owning my own mixing room, and working as an engineer, mixer and producer as well as producing a large number of different bands from different genres
> Writing and enjoying music ranging from big band jazz and blues, through to thrash metal, also including a full orchestral composition.
More on these tomorrow, but until then think about the elements in your life / future
In one of the episodes he meets an ex girlfriend, who now has a son, and everyone thinks that he is unhappy because he could have been a dad, but he corrects everyone saying he is very happy because his life consists of cigars, suits, money and one night stands. I’m not saying that these four things are the ingredients to happiness, but for Barney they were.
So let’s deal with the thought provoking part of this blog first. What is happiness? I suppose happiness is actually contentment, because wherever one is found, so is the other. Here’s how I see it: certain things in life fall into the category of ‘Eternal Struggles’, these things include financial contentment, success, happiness as well as a few other things I can’t thing of right now. Here’s a scenario from a book entitled “The Richest Man in Babylon” by George Clason.
The Richest Man in Babylon assembles a bunch of people from all walks of life, beggars, merchants and princes, and asks all of them to stand if anyone has extra money lying around to spend. You assume that the beggar would stay seated, along with a few of the merchants and you expect that the princes would immediately stand. But this is not the case, and you find out that not a single person stands. The Richest Man then makes the point that the key to having money is spending less than you earn, and that it has nothing to do with how much money you may or may not have (beggar versus prince).
So if it has nothing to do with your current situation then it must be a state of mind, or rather a way of thinking. The truth is that no amounts of money will ever ensure that you don’t need more money, because it’s very easy to spend money irrespective of how much there is. And when your money runs out, you’ll want more.
In the same manner, happiness has nothing to do with your situation but rather a state of mind, and so does success, as well as my striving to be the best. I guess I just need to become content with the fact that as long as I’m doing my best, I am the best.
So are you waiting for happiness, or are you content to let it evolve? Are you constantly broke, or are you learning how to be mostly fine all the time? These are questions that can’t be answered overnight simply because the answers need to be experienced and lived rather than spoken and debated, but the journey is part of the destination…
Now that we’ve dealt with the more serious part, here’s the more fun part. Everyone has a picture of themselves in the future, as a happy person. And that picture always has specific elements in it that you assume would make you happy. Now my question is what are those elements, and how are you going to get them into your life?
For me those elements are as follows:
> Good friends
> Financial independence
> YHVH / studying the Word
> Owning my own mixing room, and working as an engineer, mixer and producer as well as producing a large number of different bands from different genres
> Writing and enjoying music ranging from big band jazz and blues, through to thrash metal, also including a full orchestral composition.
More on these tomorrow, but until then think about the elements in your life / future
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Three Things To Say
It’s Sunday, and to be honest I don’t really feel like blogging today, mostly because I’m not sure how many people will read it. So I’m going to save my golden thoughts for tomorrow. I do however have three things to say.
If you want to have a laugh, head on over to www.grouphug.us, it’s an anonymous confessions website. I’ve been watching and reading off that site for about 3 years now and it never fails to provide you with something unimaginably disgusting, something super funny and something super sad every time you read confessions there. If you feel so inclined make one yourself, I wouldn’t say it helps, but it’s good to know it’s out there…
The second thing is that I’ve found an awesome pub called ‘Eye of Horus’. If you’re in the Cape Town area, and want to listen to something a little heavier than the usual rock head on over there. It’s great, nice vibe, good prices and an awesome choice of music.
Third is this: Chelsea won 5 – 0 so I’m pretty happy.
If you want to have a laugh, head on over to www.grouphug.us, it’s an anonymous confessions website. I’ve been watching and reading off that site for about 3 years now and it never fails to provide you with something unimaginably disgusting, something super funny and something super sad every time you read confessions there. If you feel so inclined make one yourself, I wouldn’t say it helps, but it’s good to know it’s out there…
The second thing is that I’ve found an awesome pub called ‘Eye of Horus’. If you’re in the Cape Town area, and want to listen to something a little heavier than the usual rock head on over there. It’s great, nice vibe, good prices and an awesome choice of music.
Third is this: Chelsea won 5 – 0 so I’m pretty happy.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Recent Music Taste
So ever since a friend of mine, Richard, gave me a cd by a band named Divine Heresy I’ve really been loving my extreme metal. As a music lover, I listen to a very wide range of music, everything from classical and operatic pieces through to heavy metal and even some dance at times, and I love it all.
But until now I’ve never really listened to the extreme metal. I don’t know why, I’ve just never really been into it, I’ve heard it and even enjoyed it at times, but never listened to it a lot. So what is extreme metal?
Extreme metal is standard metal on speed. These guys take normal metal riffs, and play them at triple speed, so where Lamb Of God’s fastest tracks are around 210 – 220bpm, these guys are playing songs at 280bpm and sometimes even faster. And of course it’s seldom in standard time signature [Nile have a song in 16/7. I don’t even know how you can play that at 267bpm] and usually the guitar pieces are super complex.
In my opinion extreme metal is cool, but it only exhibits two aspects of good music: Namely speed and technicality. There is however a host of other skills that make music great, these things include:
Speed [mentioned above]
Technicality and Complexity [mentioned above]
Musicality [melody]
Emotional Connection
Listening Ease [very subjective]
As well as many more things I’ve not mentioned here. In my opinion no single band can exhibit all of these aspects, which is why I love listening to so many different styles of music.
For example, Dream Theater is one of my favorite bands. They have the technicality and complexity, the melody lines as well as some of the speed but not the emotional connection.
Music is an interesting medium, which we use to express emotion, and I suppose the various attributes of music are an expression of those emotions in different forms. I suppose that’s why I love so many different forms of music, because they express different emotions that I am feeling.
Here are some of the bands I listen to:
Metal
Lamb Of God
Killswitch Engage
As I Lay Dying
Shadows Fall
Underoath
Trivium
Threat Signal
In Flames
Dimmu Borgir
Arch Enemy
Chimaira
Extreme Metal
Divine Heresy
Nile
As Blood Runs Black
Zao
Progressive Rock
Dream Theater
Porcupine Tree
Oceansize
Joe Satriani
John Petrucci
Yngwie Malmsteen
Rock
Foo Fighters
Arctic Monkeys
System of a Down
Breaking Benjamin
Coldplay
Blues
Eric Clapton
BB King
John Mayer
Jazz
Kirk Whalum
Jonathan Butler
Miles Davis
Jamie Cullum
Classical
Mozart
Chopin
Bach
Beethoven
My mom says that she can tell what mood I’m in depending on what I’m listening to, but I guess that’s the point of music isn’t it? It’s an outlet, and one I’m proud of. So what do you use music for? Is it just to get psyched, or is it a noise in your life? All I can say is it’s an extremely powerful tool that can bring joy to anyone who chooses to use it.
But until now I’ve never really listened to the extreme metal. I don’t know why, I’ve just never really been into it, I’ve heard it and even enjoyed it at times, but never listened to it a lot. So what is extreme metal?
Extreme metal is standard metal on speed. These guys take normal metal riffs, and play them at triple speed, so where Lamb Of God’s fastest tracks are around 210 – 220bpm, these guys are playing songs at 280bpm and sometimes even faster. And of course it’s seldom in standard time signature [Nile have a song in 16/7. I don’t even know how you can play that at 267bpm] and usually the guitar pieces are super complex.
In my opinion extreme metal is cool, but it only exhibits two aspects of good music: Namely speed and technicality. There is however a host of other skills that make music great, these things include:
Speed [mentioned above]
Technicality and Complexity [mentioned above]
Musicality [melody]
Emotional Connection
Listening Ease [very subjective]
As well as many more things I’ve not mentioned here. In my opinion no single band can exhibit all of these aspects, which is why I love listening to so many different styles of music.
For example, Dream Theater is one of my favorite bands. They have the technicality and complexity, the melody lines as well as some of the speed but not the emotional connection.
Music is an interesting medium, which we use to express emotion, and I suppose the various attributes of music are an expression of those emotions in different forms. I suppose that’s why I love so many different forms of music, because they express different emotions that I am feeling.
Here are some of the bands I listen to:
Metal
Lamb Of God
Killswitch Engage
As I Lay Dying
Shadows Fall
Underoath
Trivium
Threat Signal
In Flames
Dimmu Borgir
Arch Enemy
Chimaira
Extreme Metal
Divine Heresy
Nile
As Blood Runs Black
Zao
Progressive Rock
Dream Theater
Porcupine Tree
Oceansize
Joe Satriani
John Petrucci
Yngwie Malmsteen
Rock
Foo Fighters
Arctic Monkeys
System of a Down
Breaking Benjamin
Coldplay
Blues
Eric Clapton
BB King
John Mayer
Jazz
Kirk Whalum
Jonathan Butler
Miles Davis
Jamie Cullum
Classical
Mozart
Chopin
Bach
Beethoven
My mom says that she can tell what mood I’m in depending on what I’m listening to, but I guess that’s the point of music isn’t it? It’s an outlet, and one I’m proud of. So what do you use music for? Is it just to get psyched, or is it a noise in your life? All I can say is it’s an extremely powerful tool that can bring joy to anyone who chooses to use it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
