The Statue

I know what I want to feel. I know what I want to look like, and it isn't what anyone truly desires, but I don't believe I am worth of being desired. The happiness my beauty affords scares me in a way I don't understand and am still learning to give to others.

It is like a beautiful statue carved of marble, left out to be displayed for all to see and appreciate. As time goes on more and more people appreciate the work, the effort and the sacrifice which has made this piece of art what it is but this delay carries a weight the piece will never recover from. Cracks and stains are left on what was intended to be perfection incarnated but as the price of time is paid, the reward of work becomes richer and deeper.

The lost perfection creates character which identifies the appreciation fewer and fewer people feel but the true reward of the intention becomes an engulfing and life changing event that will be echoed through the years of all parties involved.

My degradation is something I enjoy but it's reward is unbearable. So I deny the cracks my feelings are expressing in a selfish act of maintenance. But perhaps these cracks lead to something that will heal my feelings and assure my fear. Perhaps this is my degradation in an unfamiliar format.

"And I can talk, I place pride on tick and tock"